Blurred Vision
by SubParPerfection
Summary: Bella awakens at the Cullen's house in Forks, changed, but not sure how or why. Her last memory of being with Edward. Now he's left her, ashamed of what he's done, and now she might have to learn to live without him with the help of the Cullens B&E!
1. Awakening

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. Although I would not mind having Edward all to myself ******

**Apologies. I know this is pretty short. I wrote it at work, which I definitely wasn't supposed to be doing. That whole being on the clock thing. Let me know what you think!**

**Chapter 1: Awakening**

I felt his cold arms around me; holding me almost to the point of restraint. But I couldn't figure out why it was him holding onto me and not Edward. His arms were strong and I did feel safe; but I could tell I was shaking.

"Carlisle?" I asked as I looked up at him, trying to make sure that it was actually him.

"It's alright, Bella. Calm down. You need to try to relax. Everything's going to be fine." He said. His normally calm and stoic voice now had a slight tremble of terror behind it.

I didn't believe him.

I tried to turn my head. Tried to look for Edward. He had to be there somewhere. I didn't know what had happened to bring me to this point. Why I was laying here, wherever it was. Or how Carlisle had gotten there. All I knew was that I needed to find Edward.

Then it hit me. The excruciating pain throughout my entire chest that reverberated through my arms and rang in my ears. Someone was screaming. I could hear it. A bloodcurdling wail, muffled only by sobs. And then I realized it was me.

I was screaming.

When I woke up I couldn't hear anything but a constant ringing in my ears. My head ached as though it were in a giant vice grip which only became tighter and tighter, squeezing at my temples.

"How are you feeling?" I heard Carlisle whisper. The room was dark. Heavy blankets covered the windows, towels were lining the crack under the door, and the lights were off. Carlisle was sitting in a chair a few yards away from me, his legs crossed, left over right with his hands resting in his lap. He looked worn out, almost tired. As if he hadn't hunted in far too long.

"My head…it hurts. Everything hurts. I don't even know why. What happened?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"You don't remember?"

"No. All I know is that I was with Edward. I don't know where we were or what happened. One minute…" I paused, "I don't know. I was with him and then I was here with you, wishing I were dead."

He just stared at me, confused. I sat up quickly.

"Where is he, Carlisle? Where's Edward?" I pleaded with him, hoping he knew more than I evidently did.

"We don't know." He said, my heart dropping.

"Then how did I-"

"That's where it gets complicated." He cut me off. "Edward dropped you off. He showed up at the door with you, limp in his arms. He said he'd bitten you. Not how or why. But that he thought he had killed you. He was hysterical. He begged me to bring you back. Save you. I had him bring you in here, into my office. I promised to do what I could. I didn't have to do much, you were fine. Once he knew that you were alright, that you were technically alive, just changed, he said he had to leave. He couldn't face you. He was too ashamed. We-"

"Why didn't you stop him?" I whispered, furious but too shocked to let it out in my speech.

"Bella, we tried. You have to know that we tried. He's my son for all intents and purposes. Of course I'm not going to just let him run away."

"But he did didn't he? He's gone isn't he?" I kept asking, hoping he'd give me a different answer.

"Bella," he said slowly as he got up and walked over to me. "Everything will be fine. You'll stay with us, we'll teach you how to deal with your new life and it will all work out."

"I'm not worried about dealing with my new life, Carlisle!" I shouted, ignoring the pain it caused me. "Without Edward I don't want _any_ life. Remember the last time? Without him…I crumble. Without him, my life is forfeit anyways." I started to cry. Heaving sobs that seemed to come from my soul. "How could he leave me again? After everything we've….he promised me he wouldn't ever…"

I buried my head in my hands and stood up. I opened my eyes and walked across the room to one of the windows covered by a thick black blanket. I grabbed it quicker than I had expected to and pulled it down along with the bolding it had been attached to.

"Oops."

"Nothing that can't be fixed." Carlisle said with a smile as he caught the falling pieces of shattered wood.

"Sorry. I didn't realize I was already that…different…I guess."

"It happens quickly." Esme's voice came from the doorway. "How are you doing, dear?" she asked, her face pained, her tone motherly.

"Completely lost." Honesty was best at this point.

She exchanged a knowing glance with Carlisle as she walked towards me. She put her hand on my shoulder and hugged me.

"Bella, I've always thought of you as my daughter. This changes nothing." She released me but kept her hands on my shoulders starring into my eyes. "It hurts now. But you'll be okay. We're all here for you honey." She kissed me lightly on the cheek and with that, she turned and left the room.

Carlisle stood up from where he had been crouching on the floor. He looked at me with a half hearted attempt at a smile.

"Alice, Emmett and Jasper want to take you out to hunt this afternoon. You'll need it. Esme and I can accompany you if you wish."

"No, that will be fine. Just the kids." I wanted a chance to speak to Alice alone. I knew that Emmett would probably be wanting to teach me the ins and outs of hunting and that Jasper was probably tagging along in order to keep my emotions in check. To manipulate me if I needed to be manipulated. But for some reason, I didn't care. I just didn't want to have to hurt anymore. If that were even a possibility.


	2. The Hunt

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. Although I would not mind having Edward all to myself ******

**Chapter 2: The Hunt**

I sat in the car silently staring out the window as we drove over the border into the mountains. Emmett had wanted to hunt bigger game while Alice wanted to introduce me to the smaller more readily available animals. Myself, I didn't care. I wasn't sure if a vampire could die of starvation but I was more than willing to find out first hand.

"We're here, Bells." Alice said opening my door. Everyone else had already gotten out and was waiting on me.

"Oh." I said as I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of the car, slamming the door harder than I meant to. I offered Alice an apologetic smile as she locked the doors and took my arm in hers.

"You're going to love this." She told me, reassuringly. "My first time was amazing, so thrilling! I never wanted to stop. But you'll know when you're done. I figure you can watch me first and then we'll find something for you to sink your teeth into on your own." She winked at me. I just nodded as I followed her. Emmett came up behind me and bumped into my shoulder.

"How you doing, kid?"

"I'd be better if people quit asking me that." I said, my frustration pouring out of me.

"I'm sorry Emmett. I didn't mean-"

"It's okay. I get it." He said. "You're allowed to be a little pissed off. Everyone's coddling you. Treating you like you're broken. All saying it'll be okay when you don't think it will. That we'll be here when we're not who you want. It can get annoying. I get that."

I smiled at him. "Thanks Emmett."

Alice held my arm a little tighter as Emmett ran to catch up with Jasper.

"It's cause we love you, you know that right?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"Well, we're all being so over-bearing right?"

I didn't answer.

"And you're completely annoyed by it. But really it's your fault. If you hadn't made us all fall in love with you from the beginning we'd be a little bit easier on you. It wasn't just my brother who you meant the world to."

"Uh huh." I said, as if any of that had really gotten through to me.

"Alice, I need to know something."

"Yeah?"

"Did you see it? Did you know?" I looked at her, my eyes pleading.

She hesitated.

"I knew that he was going to drop you off and that he had changed you, that you weren't dead. But not that he would leave. I didn't see that at all. If I had, I would have talked him out of it."

"Why….how could you not know that though?"

"Because he hadn't decided to leave until he was already gone. I've been trying to see where he's going but he hasn't decided yet. Either that or he's trying to keep me from knowing."  
"Because he doesn't want _me_ to know." I said, looking straight ahead, unwavering. I was surprised. I thought that that realization would hurt me more, but there wasn't much pain. The whole that was there wasn't as gaping as it had been in the past. When he had left me before. I wasn't sure if it was because I was different now or because I had been prepared for this. Because it was just a fear of mine being realized. Whatever it was, I was glad. At least the pain wasn't worsening over time.

I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. I instinctively crouched down, studying it. A deer, about 20 or 30 feet away from me. It was warm and young, and it's blood was bumping through it so fast. I could hear it. My mind sprung into action and suddenly I was pouncing on it, my teeth bared, hands squeezing it's throat as I sank my teeth into its flesh, feeling the instant rush as its blood filled my mouth and throat. Euphoria swept over me. I kept swallowing, gulping the sweet elixir until I could no longer taste the warmth on my tongue.

"Or, ya know. I'll watch you first and then I'll learn from you." Alice said from behind me.

"I like deer. They taste very sweet. But I think I want a bear now."

"Slow down, Speed Racer. Pace yourself!" she said with a laugh.

"Pacing myself isn't what I need. I want to test my limits. See what I can handle. Please, Alice?"

She rolled her eyes, her arms crossed, as she motioned for me to follow her. I smiled and did as I was instructed.

We caught up with the boys quickly. They were near a stream in a valley, nestled between two fairly impressive mountains.

Emmett and Jasper were already stalking two grizzlies. Emmett was kneeling near a tree watching his prey with determined, hungry eyes. The bear stopped at the shore of the stream, playing with a fish before it ate it. Emmett pounced, seeing his opportunity, and attacked the bear with full force. At the same time, I saw Jasper go after his prey not too far away.

Alice nudged me in the ribs and pointed downstream at a grizzly that had just arrived. She pointed at me, then at the bear and nodded. And I began my hunt.


	3. The Fall

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. Although I would not mind having Edward all to myself ******

**Chapter 3: The Fall**

By the end of the night, I had gotten my fill. I had fulfilled my thirst with two grizzlies and three deer. So far, deer were my favorite. Emmett had been very confused by that fact, telling me that they were an inferior creature and only acceptable as food when we were desperate or when they had overthrown their population limits.

"They're so graceful though. Beautiful and life and sweet, almost sultry in death." I told him.

"They're too small. Pick something bigger. I thought you were looking for a challenge." He said with a smile, a sad attempt at trying to egg me on.

The day of hunting had lifted my spirits. The hole in my chest was definitely still there but it wasn't as gaping wide. It didn't ache constantly. But I certainly knew it was there. And I wanted to mourn that loss. Just not know. And I wondered if maybe it was Jasper who was responsible for this new found calmness that I was experiencing. This wave of understanding that had swept over and replaced the resentment and heartbreak that had previously been in its place.

I looked at him with inquisitive eyes, asking him, wordlessly if he was, in fact, suppressing my emotions. He just smiled at me. A sad sort of smile that made me wonder if maybe Edward's absence was hurting him as well.

"Hey Bella," Alice said from the driver's seat, snapping me out of my reverie.

"Yeah?" I responded, my voice higher than normal.

"What are your plans for tomorrow?"

"Um. I hadn't thought about it yet. I guess nothing yet. Why?" I answered, skeptically.

"Because I was thinking. We could go shopping and get you a new wardrobe. Your old stuff is nice but you know…new life, new wardrobe. It kinda goes hand in hand."

"Oh. Well. I mean. I've got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow. Loads to learn and a ton of work to be done. You know, I should probably rest up from this long tiring day and so much to process. I'm really quite busy." I joked with her.

"Oh come on. You'll love it. I promise we won't stay too long. Besides, you'll need a new wardrobe for Alaska."

"Yeah, about that…"

"What?"  
"I was thinking about not going to Alaska anymore. I was thinking about not going to college at all anymore. What's the point? I have eternity to get an education. There's no rush now." I told her, copping out.

"He's not going to be there, Bella." Alice said.

"How do you know? You said he hadn't decided. That you weren't sure yet. I don't want to take that risk."

"And I get that. But Bells, Carlisle and Esme, they aren't going to let you not go to college. They aren't going to just let you give up because of this."

"Alice. Can we not talk about this right now? Please? I'm begging you. Let's just get home."

"Guys. Stop it." Jasper said from the backseat, his voice stern. "You know I can just stop you if I want to. Don't make me. Just stop. There's no point."

I stared at Jasper for a second as Alice pulled into the driveway, turned off the car and got out of the car, storming into the house at a faster pace than I had seen her in a while.

"She's just worried about you." Emmett reassured me.

"I know." I said. "Everybody is. But there's really no need to be."

I watched the two boys saunter into the house. I heard Alice stomping around the house from outside as I sat on the front steps. _It's not a big deal. They worry because there's a lot to worry about right now. It's because they love you._ I tried to convince myself. _Now if only I could care about that right now. _I tried to shake the thought out of my mind.

I stood up and started running. I wasn't sure where I was heading or why. But I just wanted to run without an end. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to come back at this point. I wanted to remember what had happened. I wanted to know how I had ended up here…alone. Of course, there were the Cullens. I had Carlisle and Esme, Alice and Jasper, Emmett and even Rosalie. But the one person I truly cared about having was the one person I didn't think I'd ever have again. And he was the only person I'd ever wanted. The only one I'd ever ached for.

As I thought, I just kept running. And by the time I had stopped, I was somewhere completely unfamiliar to me. I heard the wind blowing through a mass of trees through the woods behind me. I saw the end of the path, but it wasn't a path. It was a raging waterfall. And all it did was tempt me.

I started running again. Until I reached the end of the falls. And then, I jumped. I soared through the air as if I were flying. And when I finally opened my eyes again, I was only halfway down. I breathed deep. The smell of the salty water invaded my senses and nearly choked me. But I ignored the need to breathe. I just held my breath, and dove into the murky water beneath me.

The water seemed to never end, and it took my thoughts back to a time that was so far behind me. So tucked away in my past that I barely remembered it. I had done something similar to this before. I had dove off a cliff in La Push. Only at that time, it was in order to hear Edward's voice, screaming at me to stop being ridiculous. This time, I heard no voice screaming. No discouraging remarks, no protective shouts. Nobody trying to stop me. And I knew I never would again.

When I came up above water again, I pulled myself to the shore slowly and started walking at a human pace, trying to figure out where I was. I began to smell my way home, knowing that the others would worry if I didn't show up soon, not knowing where I had gone. Only that I had been there at one point, but that I had left without a word. And I realized, I did care about them and what they thought.

I smiled to myself and began running again; following my sense of smell and my heart to get me home. The sun was almost up and I was cutting it far too close.

When I got there, Esme was sitting in the living room waiting for me.

"Hello dear." She said sweetly.

"I'm sorry, Esme. I know I should've said something before I left. I didn't mean to worry anybody. I just needed to breathe on my own for a minute."

"It's alright." She said with a smile. "You never have to make excuses here. We know this is hard on you and we're trying to help even if it seems to be hurting you. If you have to leave every now and then, we understand. Just know that we do love you, alright?"

"Alright. And I do love all of you guys too. I think I'm going to go up to my room now. Thanks." I told her.

"Alice is in there for you. She's been waiting for you to get home. Just forewarning. Be easy on her, Bella. She feels awful."

I smiled at Esme. "There's nothing for her to feel awful for. I'll see you later, Esme."

I walked upstairs, ready to face the firing squad that I was sure was waiting for me. But it never came.

I opened the door to my room and looked up at Alice who was sitting on my bed, starring at the door waiting for me to walk in.

"I'm so sorry Bella, and I know you forgive me because you already said you did, I saw that, but I needed to say it anyway. And I do love you and I'm sorry. But we're still going shopping because I need to, because it'll make me feel better, and I'm sorry." She spat out in what seemed to be less than five seconds.

I laughed at her. "Okay, Alice. Okay!"

"Ew. You're all wet!" she said.

I only laughed more.


	4. The Return

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters

**Author's Note: Sorry it took so long for him to show up, but at least he finally does now!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. **

**Chapter 4: The Return**

The next few months passed by as if they were only a few minutes. I never really knew what was going on and my mind never fully reconnected with the rest of me. I did what I needed to do in order to survive. I maintained my existence and nothing else. The only times I allowed myself to think or feel was when I was hunting. And for the first two months, all I felt or thought about was the thrill of the hunt. My animalistic need to devour and drink. As that thrill slowly faded (never completely, mind you, but to an extent), other thoughts seeped into my mind.

I began thinking of Edward. Allowing myself to miss him fully, and as completely as I truly did. I felt utterly betrayed by him for leaving me like this and I wasn't sure if I could forgive him for this. I kept repeating to myself, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice…shame on me. But at the same time, I knew that if I were to see his face again, see that same crooked smile, I wasn't sure if I would be able to resist him. I didn't think I could push him away if he put his hand to my cheek or if I smelt his sweet breath.

The days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and ever so quickly, a year had passed without me having given it permission to.

After one long weekend in the mountains of Colorado, hunting any and every animal we could find above the Garden of the Gods preserve, Alice and I were on our way home. We were in her brand new Mercedes, a birthday gift from Jasper. I was driving for it for the first time since she'd gotten it three months ago.

Suddenly, Alice went rigid. Her eyes went blank and she froze.

"Alice? Alice, are you alright?" I asked her, trying not to panic.

She didn't answer. I assumed that she was having another vision. She had been having them a lot lately. Nothing she could really make sense of but she could see it was important.

I left her a lone for a few minutes. I knew we'd be home in an hour or so and she should be back amongst the semi-living by then. Hopefully, she'd be able to let me know what she saw by then.

I slowed my speed, hoping that maybe it would add a few minutes to our trip, just in case. But when I heard her begin to move, I knew that it was no longer necessary.

"You okay there, sparky?" I asked her.

"Yeah. Yeah I think so." She said, not sounding very sure of herself.

"What's wrong Alice, what'd you see?"

"Hey Bells, pull over pretty soon okay? I need to rest."

"Not until you tell me what you saw. You're scaring me. What's up?" I told her, beginning to lose control of my voice.

"Bella, I'll tell you when we've stopped. Just pull over." She insisted.

"Fine." I said, as I slammed on the breaks and took the next exist, pulling into an old closed down hotel parking lot.

"Now tell me."

"Switch me seats. I want to drive."

"Alice. This is bullshit. Tell me what's going on. You're freaking me out!"

Alice got out of the car and came over to the driver's side door, opening it for me and waiting for me to step out, which I eventually did. I stood there, facing her. She closed the door without getting in and looked at me.

"Stay calm." She warned me. "You're probably not going to like this, but I have to tell you."

"Oh, great way to start this, Alice. Just spit it out." I told her, no longer attempting to hide the panic I was feeling.

"Get in the car. I don't want to talk about this out in the open."

She got into the drivers seat, buckled her seatbelt and waited for me to do the same. Once I had gotten in and was properly seated, she turned the ignition and headed back towards the highway.

"Okay, Bells. I know you're not going to be happy but I need to at least warn you. I saw Edward. I think he finally is allowing me to see him. He was in Denali for a while, up in Alaska. But he's heading to Italy now. He's going to try to see if he can join the Volturi." She said, almost calmly.

"Okay. And why would I freak out about that?" I asked, suddenly relieved.

"I guess because of what happened the last time he was in Italy? I don't know. It's just…you haven't said his name since right after. I know it hurts you to hear it. I just thought you'd want to know."

"Alice, that's sweet of you. And you're right. I do still care about him to some extent. But he chose to leave. It was his fault that we ended. He chose to leave. Again. Wherever he goes, or doesn't go, doesn't matter to me." I told her as I grinned at her, amused.

I turned my head and stared at the window. _The Volturi? He'd rather join the Volturi than be with me?_ I thought. Apparently I wasn't worth coming back for. But at least now I knew that.

We spent the next two hours on the road. Alice drove the rest of the way at an almost human pace. When we arrived home, I let her know that I was going to go for a run. Even after telling Alice that this was all behind me, that I was over Edward and that nothing he did affected me, I still didn't believe any of it. And that probably had a lot to do with the fact that none of it was true. I was still very much in love with him. And I was still so very hurt. I had opted not to breathe for so long simply because it hurt less. If I didn't breathe, I couldn't smell everything that didn't smell like him. If I didn't breathe, I couldn't feel the constant hole in my center where he used to be. And if I didn't feel, I didn't have to hurt.

I had taken to running every night. A different location each time, and each time, I never knew where it was that I ended up. But I always ended up retracing my footsteps back home. It was liberating. I was on my own, and I didn't have to think or feel. It was my freedom from myself and it was everything I needed it to be.

Tonight, again, I ran with no expectation. I ran just to run. Ran to wherever it was I needed to be. And it didn't take long to find it. Once I got there, I felt it in my soul and I stopped running. I opened my eyes and was taken aback by what I saw. I was in the meadow. His meadow. The one he had taken me too so many times. The one that held so many memories for us that it was almost heartbreaking.

I walked into the center of the meadow, and I took a breath. I smelled the grass, the trees, and every flower that was nearby. I knelt down and buried my head in my hands. It wasn't fair. This life wasn't what I had planned at all. It wasn't what Edward has promised me and it wasn't what I wanted.

Then I smelled something else. Or rather someone else.

"Hi." I heard his voice behind me.

I turned my head to look at him, tears already welling up in my eyes.

"You have _got_ to be _kidding _me!" I said as Edward stared at me.


	5. Humble

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. **

**Chapter 5: Humble**

I was conflicted. At the same time that I wanted to stay where I was and scream at him, I also wanted to get up and run as far away from him as possible in the hopes that I'd never see him again. But the former ended up winning out as I was completely unable to move.

"Not exactly the reception I was imagining but I guess that works." He said, almost jokingly. "Look, Bella. I didn't mean to even see you. I didn't know you'd be here. If you want I can-"

"What, leave? Again?" I shouted at him. "Well why not. It's obviously what you're good at. You've done it twice without a second thought. What I don't get is why you keep coming back. Did you want to see how miserable I was? How broken you'd left me this time? Guess what, I'm still alive! I'm surviving well enough without you. So you can turn around and leave again…or do you have to convince me that you're in love with me, get me to trust you, and then break my heart again before you do that?"

It flowed out of my mouth as if the filter between my mouth and the rest of my being had suddenly disappeared. And a small part of me didn't care. The hurt expression on his face only fueled my anger, my resentment towards him for leaving me like this.

He looked down at his feet and ran his hands through his silky hair. "Bella," he said, his eyes closed tightly. "I never meant to hurt you. I panicked. I didn't know what to do."

"So you left. You left me here, with your family, in a life that I was completely new to with no clue what was going on, with no memory of what had happened and without even explaining anything. Thanks for that." I snapped.

"I know it was wrong. I was so scared. So ashamed and I just. I couldn't bare to have you look at me after that. But I missed you every second of every day." He admitted.

"And it took you over a year to figure that out. It took you _this long_ to come back. To apologize? And I'm supposed to do what with that?"

"Well I was hoping you'd forgive me." He said with an attempt at a smile, still not looking directly at me.

"Edward," I said, a tremble running up my back; saying his name sent a shock through me. "Fine. You're forgiven. Feel free to leave. Go ahead. Go to Italy. Go join the Volturi, the one thing you never wanted to do." His eyes darted up to my face, looking surprised. "The one group that you swore you'd never be a part of. But then again, you swore you'd never leave me again and you did that too so…who knows what you're capable of." I turned back around and faced away from him waiting for him to leave.

"You really think that that was my plan? That I was really going to go and join _them?_" he asked me, all seriousness.

"That's what Alice saw. You'd decided it at one point." I scoffed.

"I never decided that. I never decided anything but to come here, to see you. To see if I could fix things. I had tried to a million times but I always pulled myself back. I always got too scared and lost my nerve, thinking you'd hate me. A pretty fair assumption at this point."

"Don't try to pull a guilt trip on me, Edward. I don't hate you." I paused. "I wouldn't waste so much time being this mad at you if I hated you." I said, almost whispering.

He didn't say anything for a few seconds. "So what does that mean?"  
"I don't know." I told him, lying.

"Do you still care about me?"

"Of course I do!" I yelled at him, as I turned back around quickly, starring at him as if he were completely oblivious.

He thought for a moment and then met my eyes.

"Do you still love me?"

"Edward…" I sighed.

"Please…just tell me. If you don't, I'll leave you alone. But if you do, if there's any hope at all…I need to know."

"Of course there's hope. I'll always love you. I'll always be in love with you. No matter what. I'm the stupid lamb, remember? Even if I am a lion now too."

He smiled and began walking towards me. I stood there, unable to move again. He was inches away now, one hand reaching for my waist and the other about to brush against my cheek.

"Stop." I told him, unconvincingly. But he did.

I took a few steps away from him, still facing towards him.

"I can't do this." I admitted. "I'll end up letting you get close again, and something will happen that will make you scared and you'll leave. And I've just done worked way too hard to keep my emotions and thoughts at a minimum to let that happen again. I've turned myself into this hollow shell. And I don't know how good it would be to undo that again." I told him.

"Well then." He thought to himself. "I'll just have to work on earning your trust back again. And I can deal with not being emotional. What I can't deal with is not having you."

I hung my head and let out a chuckle.

"Do your parents know that you're here?" I asked him.

"Not yet."

"Great. Well I'm going to go home. You need to let them know your plans." I turned to start running but he grabbed my arm and stopped me.

"Bella. Please. It's been so long. Just one kiss. That's all I ask."

I looked at him and thought on his request. I wasn't sure if I could handle it. If it was a good idea. I knew that the second that he kissed me, every feeling I had for him would come back and I would be too overwhelmed by him to listen to my head, reminding me of what he'd done. So I settled on giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"That will have to do for now." I told him. Then I left. I turned and began running towards the house. I got there faster than I had expected and faster, I was sure, than I should've.

I ran into the house.

"ALICE!!" I screamed.

"What?!" she answered, immediately worried as she ran downstairs.

"My room. You. Me. Talky. NOW!" I told her.

She turned around almost immediately and I followed her upstairs.

"What the hell's going on?" she asked, worried, as she went to sit on my black leather couch.

"I'd ask you the same. Anything you want to tell me? Or amend?" I asked her as I sat across from her, my arms crossed, more for the purpose of holding myself together than showing my malcontent.

"Oh, so I'm guessing you two talked already."

"Yeah. Pretty much." I told her.

"That's odd though. I saw you two talking here. Where did it happen? Tell me everything!" she said, excited.

"So not the point, lady!" I told her. "You told me he was going to Italy, and that he definitely wasn't going to be coming here. What the hell was that all about?"

"I panicked. And besides-"

"If one more person uses the excuse that they panicked I might just run across to Antarctica and live there for the rest of my life, where nothing panics but the penguins. And at least they can't talk."

"As I was saying, _besides_… we all know how much you've missed him. Me especially. And I saw things with you two going well. You two getting back together, you forgiving him. It was all happiness. And you were back to your normal self. And it was good. So when I started to tell you, I thought better of it, because I knew you might make a decision in that frame of mind that would change the outcome and I really didn't want that to happen. So I changed my story. I lied. I lied because I wanted you to be happy. And I'm most definitely not sorry. Where is he now anyways?"  
I thought about it for a second. It was hard to be mad at Alice. Especially now, having heard her side. And knowing that Alice really did always have my best interests at heart. I couldn't yell at her.

Instead I smiled. I looked at her face; the curious yet indignant expression she had plastered across it, defensive and ready for a fight should I begin yelling at her at any second. And I couldn't help but laugh.

"Alice, you're priceless." I told her once I finally calmed down. She looked at me confused.

"I'm not going to say thank you for lying to me. But I'm glad that you did to an extent. Because really, it is better this way. Thanks, Alice." I said as I hugged her.

"No…problem" she said, completely taken aback. "But you still haven't answered my question. Where's he at?"

"Oh he's probably on his way. I told him he needed to let his parents know that he's here."

"Okay." She said, her chipper tone returning to her voice. "That works for me."

We heard the door shut downstairs.

Edward was downstairs now, calling everyone's name, one by one.

Alice's eyes perked up as soon as she heard him. And she let out a giddy squeal and ran downstairs, dragging me along behind her. And all I could do was smile.


	6. Unraveling

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. **

**Chapter 6: Unraveling**

The entire family sat around the living room starring at Edward intently, me being the only exception. I sat on the couch, legs crossed, my hands in my lap, trying to sort through my thoughts and emotions. Everyone else was listening to Edward tell them where he'd been and what he'd been doing for the last year.

I could most of it. He had taken some classes in Alaska, hoping that we'd all be there. He dropped out after a semester. He traveled for a while, living outdoors in parks and preserves, trying to stay away from any reminder of humanity. But apparently all it did was give him too much time to think about us. What he'd done and how he'd left us all in such a cowardly way. And so he came back.

Carlisle and Esme were forgiving him immediately, fawning over him and saying how they had missed him. Alice and Jasper interjected a "Yeah, us too" every now and again but for the most part, kept their eyes on me. Rosalie sat in the corner, next to me, glaring at Edward, making no noise, no commentary and no sign of forgiveness. I was very glad for that. I wasn't the only one having a nearly impossible time with this. Emmett, on the other hand, sat next to Edward, looking like a kid in a candy store, bouncing up and down, and hanging on his every word.

My thoughts wandered. I could think only of that first night, when I woke up to Carlisle's face and my own immense pain. The pain Edward had left me in without a second thought. I tried to remember what had happened before that. I knew we had gone out that night and that he had taken me to Port Angeles for dinner. After that, things got blurry. We had driven somewhere; the meadow maybe? And then everything went blank.

I got frustrated. I apparently hadn't been breathing because when I started again, I gasped. I stood up quickly and attempted to calmly walk out the front door. I sat down again on the front porch steps and tried to calm down. I heard the door open.

"Bella?" Edward asked.

"Just….leave me alone for a while, okay?" I begged.

"I don't want to." He said stubbornly.

I sighed and stood up.

"What are you doing?"

"Leaving. You should recognize the sentiment. You taught me how." I said, as pointedly as possible. I wanted him to hurt, to see him in pain. To know that it was hard for him.

"Okay." Was all he said.

I turned back around and ran. I wasn't sure what or where to. I just knew I needed to run. But something felt off. I stopped and turned around. Nothing was there.

"Hey." I heard Alice call from behind me.

"Let me guess," I turned around to face her, "He sent you to follow me?"

"No, Bells. I followed you because I saw you not coming back. This is me stopping you."

"Yeah well. It's just…Alice. I can't do this. Seeing him makes me so angry and it's not even anger, it's confusion and hurt and just so much damn heartbreak. _He left me, alice! __**TWICE! **__How do I deal with that? He just LEFT! _ I was in _so_ much _PAIN _and so _confused _and I needed _HIM_ and he _left_ me." I screamed louder than I ever had before, louder than I knew.

And then I started laughing.

"So much for him wanting me forever right? Can you believe he proposed to me? What a joke."

Then I started crying. I fell to my knees and did what had been coming for a year.

I crumbled.

Alice walked over and held onto me.  
"I know." She repeated in my ear.

"It's okay."

Eventually I got up. Alice walked me home and walked me to my room. She had me sit on the couch and I followed her blindly, unable to function on my own.

Edward was standing next to Alice now although I wasn't sure if he had just gotten there or if he had been waiting for me. They weren't speaking but I knew that Alice was telling him everything. I didn't care. At this point, it only made it easier on me. I thought.

Edward knelt at my feet.

"Bella, do you want me to leave? I'll stay away, I won't come back."

I looked at him, met his eyes, and tears began forming in mine.

"Stay." I stuttered. "B-but don't break me again. And don't expect it to be how it was."

"Okay." He sounded relieved.

I stood up and walked painfully slowly to Carlisle's study. Edward walked right behind me. Carlisle looked up at me, then immediately to Edward.

"What happened to her?" he asked worriedly. Apparently I didn't know how awful I looked.

Before Edward could answer for me, I spoke up.

"I want to go to Alaska. I want to go to school, I want to get out of here, and I want to not come back." I said, nonchalantly, unwavering.

"Okay. Well we have no problem going to Alaska, nor with you going to school. We can discuss the not coming back part at a later date. We'll leave as soon as we can after we get everything settled." And then he went back to work.

"Thank you." I said with a sigh of relief. He looked up and smiled at me.

I walked out of the office and back into my room. I sat on the couch as Edward walked in behind me, his eyes wide and full of surprise.

"Just like that? You made your mind up just like that?"

"Yeah. And now I'm going hunting. You're free to follow if you want."

And he did.

"I've never seen you hunt before." He said while we were driving back from the park.

"And?" I replied, my face unchanged, like it had been all day. I had succeeded in hiding any and all emotion from him other than my hunger for the blood I was drinking and for the prey I was hunting.

"I'm impressed."

"I wasn't trying to impress you. I was just hungry. It served its purpose, now it's done." I tried to convince him.

He smiled that crooked smile at me. The one that threatened to make me go weak at the knees. But I resisted it. I had to. The closer I let him get, the more opportunity he had to hurt me like he had so many times.

There was still so much I needed him to tell me. And here, I thought, trapped in my car, would be the perfect opportunity for me to ask him. I slowed my speed and glanced at him for a moment.

"What is it?" he asked me, sensing that I wanted something, the way he always could.

I looked away from him and back out at the road ahead of me.

"I don't remember much of what happened that night. Bits and pieces, yes, but not much. I need you to fill in the blank parts, and some blurry ones too."

"By that night….you mean-"

"The night that you left me. The most recent time that you left me that is. I remember the first. It's the second I'm fuzzy about."

That stung him. Just how I meant it to. I saw him wince as if it had struck a nerve.

"Ouch." He said.

"Do you think you can do that? Tell me what actually happened? How I changed and what happened before that?"

He paused for a minute and the car was silent.

"Edward?"

"Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. I can do that."


	7. Magnification

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. **

**Chapter 7: Magnification**

I didn't drive home. I didn't want to sit in my room to hear what he had to say and I didn't want to have the possibility of someone walking in and interrupting us. Instead, I thought it best to remain on neutral ground. I parked at the end of an unpaved road, where a small trail was visible. But when we got out of the car, we didn't take the trail to our destination.

Neither of us said a word but we both knew where we were going. I wanted to talk about this in our place, in the meadow where we had shared so many memories. The last place I remembered being with him before everything became so convoluted and so messy.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked him as we entered the brush.

"Are you asking me if I want to tell you, or are you asking if I think it's what's best? Because those can be two very different answers."

"What do you mean they can be different? Aren't they the same question?" I was confused.

"Not really. If you think about it. One is what I want. The other is what has to be done. You tell me." And then he took off running.

I chased after him. I knew he was fast. He always had been. No one in his family had ever been able to catch up to him. It had never happened. But I knew I was faster. But he didn't. Not yet at least.

When he arrived at the meadow, he glanced behind him, as if waiting to see me pop out of the dust trail he'd left behind him.

"You're a little rusty." I called. "I've been almost 15 seconds already." I bragged, grinning from ear to ear as I leaned against a tree at the far end of the clearing.

He looked at me, all shock and awe.

"How did you-"

"You've missed a lot while you were on your little vacation. Now talk."

"Okay." He said as he sat down in his normal spot and looked at me, beckoning for me to come and join him. I hesitated, but did as he requested.

"First thing's first. Tell me what you remember."

"And you get to make the rules up why?" I was irritated. This was _my_ idea. I was in charge this time; for once.

"I just want to know what holes I need to fill in. And where exactly it was that your memory decided to stop."

"How about you just start from the time we left Port Angeles after dinner. That'd be ideal."

He laid down on his back, with his hand behind his head as a makeshift pillow. He bent one leg so that it was in the air and was rocking it quickly, side to side.

"Right. We left there and got into the car. You weren't talking much and I was trying to find out what was wrong. You were telling me that you were worried about how your parents were going to react to you being engaged. We talked about that a little and figured out how we were going to tell them. I was going to handle Charlie since I would know what he would want to hear and you were going to tell Renee since you were so close with her. Then you begged me not to take you home. You had settled down and said it was still early. And we hadn't been seeing enough of each other. And it's you. I was never and will never be able to deny you what you want so I brought you here. I was trying to get you to put the ring on. To wear it everyday. And you were trying to convince me that you didn't need to. Then…." He trailed off.

I waited for a moment. His eyes looked so sad. I'd never seen him look as strained as he did right then. And I knew that I'd been making everything so hard on him. But I needed to know what had happened to me.

"Edward….what happened then?" I said softly, scooting closer to him and placing my hand on his chest. His eyes snapped back to look at me and he seemed to choke on his breath.

"Then….I told you that I wanted you forever. That I wanted the whole world to know that you were mine. And you told me….you told me that no matter what the world or anyone in it thought, I was always yours. Body and soul. Forever. And that no ring, car, or anything else would change that."

"Oh." I whispered and laid down next to him. "There has to be more though….what happened then?" I asked after some time had passed.

He sighed. "I kissed you. I kissed you without holding myself back at all. And I told you how much you meant to me. How much I loved you. And I gave in to the one condition you had been trying to get me to give into. Or at least I tried to. But in the middle of it, I lost control. I was kissing your collarbone and I just….just….bit down. As soon as I did it, I stopped myself. But it was too late. The damage was done and you were already in so much pain. And your eyes…you looked so scared."

I laid there quietly. It all made sense. I knew he wasn't lying. I was remembering bits of it.

"I took you to Carlisle right away. He swore to me that you were fine, but I couldn't face you again. I had lost control. And so I left. It was cowardly, but I thought it best at the time." He admitted, his voice confident.

I didn't respond. I just lay there and processed all the information I'd just received in the last few minutes. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I was still furious with him for leaving and the heartbreak that he had caused me still ached in the depths of my chest, of that I was sure. But a large part of me remembered how I had felt about him before and yearned to feel that way again. And that part of kept telling the rest of me to get over it and give him a chance. His last chance, of course, but a chance nonetheless.

I sat up and faced Edward sitting with my legs crossed over one another. I kept thinking about what he'd just told me and then I laughed, looking down at my feet.

"What can you possibly find funny in any of this?" he said, all seriousness.

"It's just…My first time…and not only do I _not_ remember it, but it ends in bloodshed, tears, _and_ it involved your father."

And then we were both laughing.


	8. Moving

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. **

**Chapter 8: Moving**

By the time we stopped our hysterics, the sun was about to come up. We were laying next to each other like we used to. Edward's arm was around my shoulder and we were both looking up at the sky. The approaching dawn made the clouds glow with the most beautiful oranges and reds. And I soaked it all in.

"We should probably get going soon." He said, as he squeezed me closer into his side. "The sun's coming out. It doesn't look like it's going to be all that cloudy out either."

I sat up and his arm stayed on the ground. I stood up and stretched my legs. They were stiff, as if I had been laying there for days instead of just a few hours.

"I guess you're right. We've still go so much packing to do." I said, enthusiastically.

He grinned. A small chuckle escaped his lips.

I glared at him, sarcastically. "And what are you laughing at?" I asked, he was still sitting on the ground.

"You've so very obviously never been through one of our moves. There's not so much packing as there is a few minutes of running around the house and grabbing the necessities before Alice grabs the rest. If it fits in the cars, it comes with us."

I rolled my eyes. "Great."

He stood up and we began our run back to the car. I wasn't sure how things were going to be between us now but at least we were getting along. But I didn't know if that made it easier, or worse. Just as I didn't know if knowing how this situation came to be made things for me harder or not. Either way I still had a while to wait before I could be on my own long enough to figure it out.

I started running for the car, with Edward not too far behind me. I reached it just before he did and climbed into the driver's seat.

"You know, I don't like this whole, you-being-faster-than-me thing. It's much less fun for me."

"Yeah? Well it looks like we're kind of switching roles huh? Next thing you know you're going to be running into walls and fainting, and I'm going to have to be the one saving you instead." I said, grinning at him. I winked as I turned the car around and headed for home.

We didn't say a word on the ride back to the house. We were both too overwhelmed by what was going on. Or at least I was. Nothing was making sense now. A couple of hours ago, I was wishing that he would leave so that my life would go back to how it had been. Empty, hollow, and predictable. Completely controlled. I didn't have to worry about anything unexpected. But now he was here and suddenly nothing made sense and nothing satisfied me. And I didn't know if I should listen to my head or my heart. My head said that he was just going to run again the next time that things got complicated. And that I should just be prepared for that, be smart and not let him in. And I could do that. I could be his friend, and that would be fine. If only my non beating heart would stop telling me to grab his hair and kiss him; stop holding myself back and just be with him again and admit that I really did love him still.

_This will all make so much more sense after I talk to Alice._ I thought.

I glanced over at Edward. His expression reflected just as much internal conflict as what I was feeling. I could only hope.

I ran into my room, knowing Alice would be waiting for me on my couch. I closed the door behind me, smiling to myself.

"You do realize that you have to tell me what's going on. I'm going to see it all eventually anyways." She gloated.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what if I wanted to be cruel and I just made you wait until you saw it instead?" I teased her.

She looked at me like a puppy in a pet store, begging for me to take her home.

"Okay, I'll tell you!" I said while I laughed.

I walked over and sat down next to her. She was bouncing now, as she always did while she was excited. She faced me, hanging on every second until I began to speak. I told her everything that Edward had told me. And everything that it had made me feel. How conflicted it had made me, and how I truly didn't know what to do now.

"Well," she said, "You could just wait until you get to Alaska. Maybe things will be clearer up there." I instantly rejected the idea. "But I guess you're not going to do that.

"What about just seeing where things go from here? Going with your instincts?"

"Yeah I thought about that." I said. "And I know that it would feel amazing to be with him again. But I also know that I'm still really hurt by him. And if I'm being honest, every time I say something that hurts him, some biting remark that gets to him and breaks his heart a little, it makes me feel better. So how can I be with him again, when pushing him away feels so good?"

"Easy." She said.

"I think I missed something."

She laughed at me.

"It's easy because you tell him the truth. You tell him what you just told me. I'm thinking that you're so happy when he's miserable because you really don't think that he was hurt. Maybe if he tells you…it'll help."

I thought about that for a moment.

"Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"I hate you."

She giggled.

"I love you too, Bells."

And with that, Edward and I had more talking to do. But not tonight. Tonight, I decided on packing.

I put most of my belongings in boxes and put them all in my car. Everything seemed to fit. Nothing seemed to need to be left behind. Including my memories apparently. With each trinket I packed away, another memory would come racing back to me. And I welcomed them. This past year I had forced them all so far into the back of my mind, never allowing myself to remember anything that had anything to do with my past. And now, all I wanted to do was remember.

Edward walked into the garage while I was putting the last box into the trunk of my car.

"Well I was going to ask you if I could help you with anything, but I guess you're all set."

"Yeah, I think that's pretty much everything. It didn't take nearly as long as I thought it would. Which I'm actually happy about. There's still some clothes upstairs though, and the essentials to get me through the next few days. What about you?" I asked, curious because I wasn't sure if he had planned on coming with us.

His gaze shifted and I followed it with my eyes. I starred at his car; chalk full of boxes all labeled.

"Yeah, I'm done. Ready to go whenever you are."

I looked back at him. "You're coming with me, then?"

"Of course. I'm going to go wherever you do for the rest of my existence. Until you tell me to stay out of your life." His face was firm, confident. And I knew was telling me the truth.

I looked down at my feet for a second, not sure if the question I was about to ask would ruin everything that had been built up in the last twelve hours. I looked back up at him and asked it anyway.

"When you left, did it hurt you? Being away from me I mean." He didn't answer right away so I figured I needed to elaborate. "It's just that, you left so quickly, without even a second thought. And then you stayed gone for so long. Like it didn't affect you at all to be gone. And now you're saying you'll never leave again. If it didn't hurt you before, what's to stop you from doing it again?"

"Of course it hurt me to leave. But I thought it would be better for you. I thought you would hate me for turning you before you had a chance to say goodbye. I came back a few times. But I could never quite make myself stay. Each time, I was just too scared. And then, this time….I was hiding. Not very well admittedly, and you just showed up there. I couldn't just ignore you. I saw how upset you were and I thought that maybe there was a chance you'd forgive me. And once I saw you again….I didn't want to be anywhere else. But there were second thoughts every day. And there was pain every day. Never doubt that."

"Okay."

"Okay? That's it?"

"Yeah. Just okay. That's all I needed to know. I don't want to talk about it from now on. We're starting over. The past is the past."

He smiled his crooked smile at me and put his hand on my cheek. I backed away from him.

"No." I said.

"What's wrong?" he said.

"This time," I replied, "I'm going to kiss you."

And then I did.

My wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down to me and I kissed him more passionately than I ever had. And this time, neither of us had to hold anything back.


	9. Progression

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters

**I had to change the rating from T to M for some explicit content. I didn't want to offend anybody. Let me know if you think it's unnecessary **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. **

**Chapter 9: Progression**

We shipped all the cars to Anchorage. Most of the family opted for flying, but I decided that I'd rather drive. Flying had never been something that I was fond of. It was something I did out of necessity but I much rather drive if the option was open to me. Edward shared my preference and we decided that we would take one car and drive in shifts. Rosalie, to my surprise, offered to come with us, but Carlisle told her that he thought it best that her and Alice got to the new house as soon as possible and got to work decorating it straight away. She looked at me as though she were going to say something, but thought better of it.

We were leaving in a few hours and I had a few more things to get packed. I put the rest of my clothes and bathroom essentials into the remaining few boxes. My things were the only ones that seemed to be packed. Edward had brought his CD collection and most of his clothes along with his various degrees. The rest of the family packed so scarcely that it seemed that they were just going on a weekend vacation instead of moving to an entirely different state.

As I walked into my old bedroom to make sure that I had packed everything away, Rosalie was standing there, looking at the bare walls, a look of disgust on her face.

"Can I do something for you, Rosalie?" I asked her, a wave of confusion in my voice.

She snapped her face quickly back so that she was looking at me now and changed her expression. Where she was previously offended by my room, she now looked concerned and determined.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"I've seen him hurt you twice now, you know. Not just hurt you to the point of a few tears, but he nearly obliterated your heart when he left. Especially this last time." She spoke so dignified; it was almost hard for me to be offended by what she said.

"I k-know that." I said. "Better than anyone."

"Yes. I know you do. But now, it seems that you've forgotten a part of that and I really wish you wouldn't. Bella, I know we're not the best of friends. We're not particularly close and I'm mostly to blame for that. But, if you can believe it, I do care about you and what happens to you. Even if it does directly inconvenience me."

"Thank you… I think." I said as I walked past her.

She followed me with her stare.

"Don't be too easy on him. He's my brother and I do love him. But be cautious. I don't want you to be hurt again. You may be a vampire now and you may be capable of taking care of yourself. That doesn't mean that we aren't allowed to look out for you. Okay?"

I smiled at her. "Thanks Rosalie. And I promise you, I'm not being easy on him. But I am trying to leave the past behind me. Like you said, he did hurt me immensely. So I, and you can too, will be watching him very closely. But I do really, really appreciate the concern." I reassured her, trying not to sound too defensive.

She simply nodded. Her concerned expression gave way a bit and she relaxed enough to rest her hand on my shoulder before she walked out the door.

I knew she was right. And I was trying to go by what she had said. To actually do it and not just say I was going to. I knew it would be difficult but I had to try.

I shoved the thought out of my mind for the time being. It was time to leave. The family wasn't leaving for a few more hours but Edward and I were beginning our drive as soon as we'd finished checking the house to make sure we hadn't forgotten anything. After I was certain I had everything I would need, I headed outside to the garage where Edward waited for me in the car.

I found him leaning against the driver's side door. He looked puzzled; slightly conflicted. I wondered if maybe he was having second thoughts about leaving. I knew he was a flight risk. He'd proven that much.

"Edward, are you okay? What's wrong?" I asked him.

He looked up at me, as if my voice had awoken him from a dream.

"Huh? Oh yeah. I'm fine. You ready?" He was dodging the question and not very well. But there was no point in pressing the matter now. We had a long drive ahead of us, made even longer by the fact that we'd have to stop to change our tires along the way before we could drive through Canada. There was plenty of time for me to pick his brain.

We both got in our respective seats. We had decided that he would take the first shift and when he either got sick of driving or I got sick of watching, I would take over. With our seatbelts buckled, we began our drive.

A long time passed without any talking. I watched the scenery pass by us. He seemed to be driving slower than normal; a tell-tale sign that something was wrong. He'd talk when he was ready, I knew that much. But the silence was deafening.

"We can't go this whole trip in silence you know. A little music would be nice if we're not going to talk."

"I like the quiet." He said, as if it should be obvious.

"Okay then, I guess that settles that."

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm just….thinking." He retorted, as though that cleared up the matter.

"How about you think out loud. Sometimes it helps. I know it could've in the past."

He glance over at me, his eyebrows clenched together and his lips pursed as if he weren't quiet sure what my comment referred to.

"What?" I asked him.

"Rosalie told you to be careful around me. She thinks I'm going to leave you again; that I'm going to hurt you and break your heart."

"Yeah… and your point is?"

"It bothers me." He said with a growl, the kind I hadn't heard from him in a long, long time.

"It shouldn't. We've talked about this. We're starting over, you and I."

"But that thought's always going to be in your head. And it should."

"It'll be there," I agreed, "But that doesn't mean I have to listen to it or that it's going to happen."

"I guess not." He admitted, looking back at the road and seeming to relax slightly.

"It's the same for you. You're always going to have the thought in your mind, wondering if you should've stayed gone, if I'd be better off if you were gone. But that doesn't mean you should leave. Because you'll know, or rather you should know that I don't want you to. And that I need you here. Right?"

He laughed; the deep hearty laugh that I had grown so accustomed to.

"What?" I said, with a confused chuckle.

"It's just, when did you become the enlightened one? It used to be me teaching you all the lessons and calming you down. We've switched roles. I think it'll take some getting used to."

I just smiled. He was probably right. But it didn't matter. He reached over and held my hand.

"You want to stop for a while? There's a forest preserve up ahead. We can hunt for a bit and relax before getting back on the road." He suggested.

"Sounds good to me."

We pulled into the park and parked as deep into the trails as we could get. I hadn't realized how thirsty I was until I smelled the air and could smell the animals. We took off into the forest and began hunting. The deer, my favorite, were plentiful. I drank my fill and lay down beside a fallen tree. It had been on the ground for so long it seemed to be melding with the grass itself.

When Edward had finished, he joined me.

"Looks like you found a comfy spot." He said as he picked me up, laying himself in my previous place, with me now sitting on his lap.

I nuzzled into the crook of his neck and closed my eyes, breathing in his scent as if it were perfume. As my nose grazed his jaw line, I felt his embrace tighten around me. He put his hand on my cheek and tilted me up to face him. He leaned down towards me and pressed his lips to mine, soft and sweet. I opened my mouth to him and I felt his tongue trace my lips. I did the same to him. He held me tighter.

My hands were entwined in his hair now, pulling him closer to me with each second. He laid me down on my back, one of his arms around my shoulders, the other hand caressing my cheek as he continued kissing me. I removed my fingers from his hair and felt down his perfectly chiseled abdomen, unbuttoning each button as I progressed further down, finally pushing his shirt off of his shoulders. He responded, leaning up just long enough to remove his arms from his sleeves. He pulled me up to him, running his fingers down my back and pulling my black t-shirt off in one swift movement.

I had already unbuckled his belt and was beginning to unzip his denim jeans when he stopped me.

"Bella, are you sure about this?"

"Don't talk. Just do." I said.

I pulled him back down to me, kissing him with more heat than before. If our ice cold bodies could overheat, they would be now. His pants were free now. Down around his ankles and he lay there now; only in his boxers. He fumbled with the top button of my jeans and then unzipped them, pulling them off of me as if they were physically injuring me.

I placed my index finger beneath the elastic waistband of his green, cotton boxers and slowly pulled them off of him, and allowed him to pull my last article of clothing off of me.

Our lips separated as he entered me and when they did, I gasped.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, Edward." I breathed.


	10. RealEstate

Author's Note: Sorry it took so long to update

**Author's Note: Sorry it took so long to update. I wasn't getting any of my alerts so I figured no one else was either, and I didn't want anybody to stop reading because they didn't know I'd updated. Sorry about that!! R&R!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight characters.**

**Chapter 10: Real-Estate**

We laid there for a few moments, not know what to do or what to say. At least I didn't. _So much for Rosalie's warning_ I thought to myself, inwardly laughing yet chastising myself at the same time. I knew that we were in love and that, in one way or another, we were together again. But at the same time, we weren't. And this had just taken it to a whole other level of confusion.

I felt his arms around me. He pulled me closer to him as he took a deep breath in and my worries faded. I felt his lips against my hair.

"Should we get back on the road?" I asked without looking up at him.

He didn't answer at first, he just seemed to be thinking about it. He removed his arms from me and sat up.

"I guess we should," he said, slightly disappointed. "Or we could just stay here for a while." He said, looking over at me for an answer.

I smiled at him and stood up. I walked past him and saw him breathe in, deeply. I laughed at him and he opened his eyes, starring at me as if he wasn't quite sure what was so funny.

He tilted his head to the side. "What are you laughing at?"

"You." I said, matter-of-factly.

"Just because your scent is still so intoxicating doesn't mean that you get to laugh at me." He said with that same crooked smile that I'd missed so much as he walked towards me.

I ran for the car, allowing him to chase me, knowing that he'd never beat me there. By the time he arrived, I was already in the driver's seat putting my seat belt on.

I turned the car on and headed back for the highway, driving as fast as the car would allow me to. We drove without talking for a while, the only sounds being the music playing on the stereo. He had put a CD in the stereo, Debussy as always. I smiled as I thought of the past times we'd listened to this. When I was human and he was my vampire boyfriend. Before everything had changed so dramatically. And then Rosalie's words came back into my mind.

_"Don't be too easy on him…He nearly obliterated your heart when he left… Don't be too easy on him."_ And my smile faded.

Edward must've seen the worry on my face. He put his hand on my leg.

"You alright?" he asked me.

I glanced over at him for a second, "I'm fine." I told him, trying to be as reassuring as possible.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I said, a little too quickly.

"That means something. Tell me."

I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to him about it. If it was even something that was up for discussion in my mind. But I knew that sooner or later, it was going to have to come up.

I starred into his eyes, trying to find the words but all I found was more complication. And more reasons not to say what I was thinking. I looked back towards the road and it came out anyways.

"I'm thinking that Rosalie's right." I waited for a response that never came. He just starred at me, his face expressionless and I saw his eyes go blank.

"Moving so fast…it's not a good idea. We both get hurt this way." I continued. "I need to trust you again and there's a lot that we both need to prove to each other. That… what we just did. It muddles things up."

"But you told me not to stop." He said. And he was right. It had been my decision. I had wanted it. And I had been wrong.

"I know I did. And maybe I shouldn't have. I'm not saying that I regret it, I don't." I said, trying to repair the damage that I'd done. "I just think we need to go slower. I'm still broken. I'm still a shell. And just because you're here now doesn't mean that you're going to be here tomorrow."

He was starring at me now and I felt his eyes boring into me, trying desperately to read my mind the way he could everyone else.

"I can't make you stay, Edward. I haven't been able to up until now and I don't want to convince myself that this time is going to be any different. And I don't want the fact that we had sex make me think that somehow I'm going to be able to keep you here. With me. It won't. If you want to leave, I know I can't stop you."

I hadn't noticed that I'd been steadily speeding up. The harder it became to say what I was saying, the faster I went. I was pushing 115 now and I wasn't sure I wanted to slow down. I was terrified of how he was going to react to what I'd just said. It took him a couple of minutes to respond to me.

"I deserve that. I broke your heart and I don't deserve you. But I'll do anything to gain your trust again. No matter what."

And that was all he said. We drove the rest of the way to Alaska that way; in silence. He starred at me the entire way, occasionally running his hand through my hair or writing messages on my leg with his fingers. Things like "I love you" and "I'm yours" and my favorite, "Forever."

We finally arrived in Anchorage after a little more than 24 hour long drive. It should've taken nearly two days with stopping for gas but now that neither of us took issue with driving nearly double the speed limit, trips went faster.

We pulled up to the house and saw that the delivery trucks had already arrived at the house and left everything in the appropriate rooms. The house was beautiful. A large wrap around white porch with blue wooden benches every few feet, with planters in between each one full of the most beautiful flowers. We walked into the house; you entered into one of the biggest living rooms I'd ever seen, with hardwood floors and plain white walls, a marble fire place at the far west end of the room. To my right was the dining room. The walls were burgundy with a bright silver chandelier hanging from the ceiling, and the floors here were also a light hardwood. An archway lead into the kitchen where there were granite countertops all around the exterior of the room and an island in the middle of the room with yet another chandelier hanging right above it.

At the back of the kitchen was a door that went out to the back porch, but if you turned left there was a pantry nearly half the size of the kitchen itself.

"Do you like it?" Edward asked me, hopefully, as he peeked in at me.

"Are you kidding me? It's gorgeous!" I told him. He grabbed my hand and lead me up the stairs that were in the living room. We passed by a bathroom that looked absolutely huge, but I didn't get a chance to look at it.

Once we were upstairs, he pushed me in front of him. I looked in each room, all of them were different colors, each bigger than any room I'd ever lived in. The fourth and last bedroom door was closed. He stepped in front of me as I went to open the door.

"This one's yours." He said, a dubious smile spread across his face, reaching his eyes.

"Close your eyes." He said, and I did as I was told.

I heard him open the door. He was behind me again with his hands on my hips, leading me into the room.

"Open them." He said when we'd walked a little ways in.

I gasped.


	11. Unpacked

Author's Note: Before, it was that the alerts weren't working

**Author's Note: Before, it was that the alerts weren't working. Now, it's that my internet is down so I can only update while I'm at work. Sorry guys! R&R!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight characters.**

**Chapter 11: Unpacked**

The room was painted light blue and the carpet was an ashen grey. It was bigger than any of the others. One wall was almost entirely covered with CD shelves, only breaking in order for a stereo to fit into place. To the left of it was a computer desk with a brand new laptop already setup with a printer and surround sound speakers, the whole works. Against one wall was a four-poster king-sized bed with a dark blue comforter and more pillows than any vampire would ever need.

I looked over and saw a door. I opened it and saw a glistening white countertop with two sinks and a mirror stretching across both this silver cabinets on both sides. There was a long bathtub that looked like it could fit three or four people in it, and across from it was a glass-door stand-up shower perfect for one. The toilet sat across from the sinks and next to it was a linen closet.

"This is all mine?" I asked Edward in complete disbelief. He was sitting on the black leather couch across from the entrance. I hadn't even noticed it there.

"Well not exactly. See there are only four rooms are there are three couples, then you and me. So we needed five rooms but none were available. So you might have to share with Alice or Rosalie."

"There are two things wrong with what you just said." I told him as I walked in and sat on his lap. "First, there are four couples here. You and I aren't two separate single people. We are one couple." I pressed my lips softly to his. "Second, Rosalie would tear me apart if we shared a room and Alice would try to play dress up way too often. This," I said pointedly, "is _our_ room."

He gave me that crooked smile again. "I was hoping for that." Then he pulled me close to him, kissing me with every ounce of passion he had inside of him. Without parting his lips from mine, he moved me so that I was lying down on the couch, him on top of me.

I tried to will myself to stop him but I couldn't bring myself to say the words. And then the front door opened. I was saved.

"Edward? Bella?" I heard Rosalie call.

He instantly stood up and pulled me up off of the couch.

"We're up here!" I called down to her. I walked over to my new laptop and looked at Edward with a questioning expression.

"Not me." He said honestly.

"Carlisle and Esme got it for you." Rosalie said as she walked in the door. She glared at Edward with an accusing stare.

"Can I talk to you alone, Edward?" she demanded.

"No." He went back to watching me. "I already know what you're thinking, Rose. Stop worrying, it's fine. Everything's fine."

She looked at me and then turned around to leave.

"I think I liked it better when she hated me." I said.

"She'll get over it." Alice's peppy voice sang out as she came over and sat on my desk, facing me. She began giggling almost immediately.

I looked at Edward, his face a mix of anger and embarrassment. He ran out of the room.

My eyes went back to Alice who was now cracking up in a nearly hysterical state. There was only one possibility; she had seen _everything._

"Oh my God." I said as I buried my head in my hands. I walked to the doorway. "Edward!" I yelled. He was there immediately which only made Alice laugh more.

"You ran away and left me here with her laughing, which she's doing because she _knows._ Oh the ways I'm going to kill you."

Alice came up behind me. "Oh don't be bad at him. I told him to leave. He's going to help the guys unload your car and we're going to girl talk." I starred at Edward. He brushed a strand of hair away from my face and kissed me gently. He pressed his cheek to mine.

"I love you, Bella. I love you. It will be okay."

And then he went downstairs.

The next hour felt like an eternity. Alice asked question after question wanting every detail.

"Alice, can we please change the topic?" I begged her. Had I been able to blush, I would've been bright red.

"Alright. But one more question, completely unrelated to that. Can we go shopping tomorrow? You need new school clothes."

"Only if Edward comes with."

She smiled. Apparently we were going.

Edward and I spent the night unpacking our boxes and setting up the room. He walked over to me, holding something in his hand. He sat down next to me where I was going through our combined CD collection.

He held his hand out and dropped my ring –well I guess it was his mother's ring now- into my hand and looked at the carpet.

"Your mom's ring? Where was it?"  
"I took it when I left. But it's yours. I want you to wear it. Always."

I put it on my right hand ring finger. It felt wrong but I knew putting it anywhere else would be even worse. Edward chuckled, then leaned over to kiss my cheek.

"I thought you'd fight me on it."

"Of course not. I'm still yours."

He begun playing with the ring, spinning it around on my finger.

"Right hand." He said to himself as if he were setting a rule.

I looked up at him and put my cold hand against his cold cheek. "For now." I said.

He smiled at that. "For now." He reaffirmed.

We had the whole room unpacked in a matter of hours. I set up the bathroom in minutes and almost immediately jumped into the bathtub. The scalding hot water cooled as soon as it touched my skin. Edward knocked on the door and then opened it a crack.

"Can I come in, love?"

"Yeah." I said, covering myself as much as possible. He walked in and panicked as soon as he realized that I was naked and in the tub.

"Bella!?"

"What?"

"You're indecent!"

"No, I'm bathing. You've seen me naked already. What did you need?"

"It can wait."

"Don't be ridiculous." I was already standing up with my bathrobe on. "Better?"

"Sure." He replied, shakily.

"Now what did you need?"

"We need to register for classes online tonight. So I was just telling you."

"Okay. Well just sign me up for everything you're taking."

"Okay." He said.

"Okay…" I said waiting for him to leave the room.

"Well I'm a little distracted now."

I laughed at him and pushed him out of the bathroom.


	12. Uninvited Guests

Author's Note: My internet is finally back up and working so expect updates daily again

**Author's Note: My internet is finally back up and working so expect updates daily again. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight characters. (I'm getting really sick of putting this on every chapter. You know it by now, so this is the last chapter I'm posting it on.)**

**Chapter 12: Uninvited Guests**

By now, the entire house had been unpacked and organized. Alice was going from room to room, making lists of everything she needed to buy in order to make the house feel like home. Or, in her words, to "make it pretty."

I dried my hair in my bathroom and smiled to myself. I had my family back. Carlisle and Esme were undoubtedly better than I could have ever expected or ever asked for. Alice was my best friend and my most trusted confidant. Emmett and Rosalie, even though my relationship with the latter was a little tense, were always looking out for me and had my best interests at heart. Jasper no longer kept a distance from me but was still quiet, yet I knew how much he cared. And Edward. I couldn't say enough about him. He was pure perfection and I loved him more than anything. And I knew that he loved me too. My life was heavenly perfection. _Which usually just means that this is when things are about to go horribly wrong_ I thought to myself.

I looked down at the ring on my right hand as I finished brushing out my hair. _No,_ I told myself. I wouldn't think like that. School started in a week and I was going to allow myself to be happy. I wasn't going to wait for the other shoe to drop. Instead, I was going to keep both feet on the ground.

I saw myself in the mirror. Since I had been turned, I hadn't truly looked at myself. I touched my cold, hard cheek and looked into my eyes; they were almost completely black. I had only 'eaten' a few days ago but it wasn't the sort of meal that I was used to. But besides that, I truly was beautiful. My skin was pale, but it suited me. And my hair seemed to flow the way it never had in my human life; perfectly. My cheek bones, once fairly defined, now were obvious and high instead of low and bulky. I ran my hands through my hair and backed away from the mirror and walked out of the bathroom.

My clothes were hanging in the closet in the bedroom and it took me only a few minutes to pick out my outfit. I needed to hunt before I went shopping with Alice and Edward. I grabbed a tight fitting pair of dark blue jeans and a brown v-neck blouse with golden stripes.

I felt Edward come up behind me and wrap his arms around my waist.

"Hello, love." He said, as he kissed my neck, gently swaying me back and forth.

I set my arms over his, smiling to myself and breathed in his scent. It was warm, sweet and comforting, almost intoxicating. I couldn't get enough of it. I turned around to face him, his arms still around me. I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Hello yourself." I whispered, my lips almost touching his. He leaned in to kiss me; I pulled back, teasing him. He looked at me with confused, disappointed eyes and I smiled back at him, letting him know that I was playing with him.

He leaned in again. And again I pulled back, this time allowing his lips to just barely touch mine.

He jutted his lower lip out and pouted pathetically.

"Oh, pouty. Don't pout." I said with a chuckle.

He started to let go of me, backing away and loosening his grip. I pulled him closer to me and kissed him, feeling his sadness fade. Neither of us was breathing. He began walking me towards the bed as he kissed me, rubbing my back.

I pulled away then. "No, stop." I said, smiling.

"Okay." He said, kissing my forehead.

"What did you want to do today?" he asked.

"Well we promised Alice that we'd go shopping with her so first, I need to do some hunting, then we can go."

"When did _we_ promise Alice to go shopping? I don't remember that." He said, obviously confused.

"I guess technically I promised I would go so long as you would. And she said that you would go so I pretty much assumed that she saw you telling me you'd go. So yeah. You did promise. Sort of. Just….right….now….and not….before. If that makes any sense." I said, confusing even myself.

"Okay." He said drawing out the word. "How about we go hunting first? I know some places we can go. I'm guessing you'll like moose best seeing as it's what I like the least and that's what you tend to go towards. We'll get some penguins eventually."

I smiled up at him, grabbing my car keys.

"Nope, I'm driving this time." He said.

I wasn't arguing this time.

We got into the car and he drove for a few minutes until he ran out of road in some little known expanse of wilderness. I unbuckled my seatbelt and before I could reach for the door, it was already opened for me. I smiled at him thankfully and stepped out of the car.

He held my hand as we walked a little farther into the woods.

"Did you want to hunt together or go our separate ways this time?" he asked.

"I guess we can go separate ways. I don't want to feel like I'm putting on a show while I'm trying to eat." I said, teasing him. He was always telling me what an impressive hunter I was. _Almost like precognition_ he had said once. I laughed at him.

"Alright then. I'll see you later. A couple of hours? Back at the car?" I nodded. "Okay. I love you, Bella." He said, putting his hand on my cheek and kissing my forehead.

"I love you too, Edward." I told him. I grabbed his chin and brought him down to look at me so that I could kiss him properly. "Bye."

An hour had passed and I had seen how right Edward was. I loved moose. There was little challenge in hunting them as they didn't run particularly fast compared to what I was used to. But they were a very angry animal. Actually getting the kill was what challenged me, and they tasted just as sweet, if not sweeter as the deer I loved so much.

I had already drunk two of them and was looking for another when I heard something moving not too far away from me. I smelled the air, trying to find out if maybe it was Edward catching up to me. But it wasn't.

But the scent was very familiar. I knew it well but couldn't quite place it. I smelled the air again; my eyes closed trying to concentrate, knowing that if I could get one good whiff, I'd know what it was. The noise stopped and I looked up. I began running in the direction of the noise, sniffing at the air as it grew in intensity. Suddenly, I stopped in my tracks.

It couldn't be who I thought it was. My eyes had to be playing tricks on me. It was impossible.

"Bella?" Jacob growled with wide eyes. His arms were shaking.


	13. Interactions

Chapter 13:

**Chapter 13: Interactions**

I stood there in complete shock, my mouth hanging open and suddenly very aware of my arms. I wasn't quite sure what to do with them. Should they hang at my sides? Would I feel better if I wrapped them around myself? I couldn't be sure. My mind was racing. I realized I wasn't breathing. I took a breath and smelled the most pungent, revolting scent I had ever had the displeasure of experiencing. It wasn't warm at all but smelled of something similar to trash that had sat in the sun for too long.

Holding my breath was best, I figured.

Jacob had his eyes closed now, and his arms were still shaking, only not as violently now. He seemed to be attempting to calm himself down. It was working, but only slightly. He looked exactly the same. His hair had gotten longer but his face still looked so much older than he was. He was taller than any normal boy of his age and his dark features still looked so welcoming. Although right now, he looked as though he'd sooner tear me apart limb from limb than grab me into the sort of hug that he used to embrace me in.

I took a step closer to him.

"Jake…what are you doing here?" I asked him, trying to keep my voice soft and calm.

He held his hand up to me in attempt to keep me silent.

"Just…give me a minute." He said, as if he might choke on each word.

I did as he asked. Could he hate me this much? That he couldn't quite control himself in my very presence? I wasn't quite sure what I had done to deserve his undivided hatred. But then again, we were mortal enemies now what with me being a vampire, and him a werewolf.

He finally spoke after sufficiently calming himself down.

"I'm here," he almost whispered, "because I've been trying to stay away from everything. I thought I left you behind. What are you doing here, Bella? Are you following me? And how the hell did you become one of _them?"_ He said the word with so much hatred, so much anger in it that I thought he should be the one with venom in his bite.

"You did leave me behind. So good job. But I'm not following you. I'm up here to start school. And I became a _vampire_," I emphasized the word "a while ago. Not long after you left. Right before Edward left too."

He looked at me, obviously confused. "They're gone then? You're alone? I told you they were nothing but leeches." He said with a smile, as if the idea of my abandonment pleased him.

"I know how much you'd love that thought; me in pain with nobody to turn to. But no, they didn't leave. Only Edward did, and he's back now. And those leeches that you hate so much? I'm one of them too. So if you want to get to ripping me to shreds, here's your perfect opportunity." I told him, daring him with every word, poised for a fight.

"You may be one of them, Bella. But you're still you. And even though I should probably kill you right now, I can't. I never could." He said, looking back down at the ground below his feet, looking as though he were relieved of some hidden stress by simply saying the words.

"But that doesn't mean that I'll stop anyone else from doing what I can't. It's not my job to protect you. Not anymore." He told me, anger dripping from every word.

"Jake, I just-" but I didn't finish my sentence.

"Bella?" Edward's silky voice called from the brush.

Jake's eyes grew with rage. I could almost see the fire inside of them burning with hatred and a bit of surprise.

"He's _here_? Why is he here?" He interrogated me, arms shaking again.

"Of course he's here. He's here with me. Where else would you expect him to be after I just told you he's back?" I replied.

Edward walked out of the brush then, looking at me first with a smile on his face.

"There you are, love. I was calling for you. Are you ready to-" he followed my stare and saw Jacob. His stance instantly tensed up and he growled, revealing his perfectly white teeth and crouching down into a pouncing stance.

"Stay away from her, dog!" he shouted.

Jacob tensed as well, still shaking fiercely yet still, somehow trying to keep himself from phasing. I'd seen him attack before and I wasn't looking forward to it now.

"I should say the same to you, parasite. I wouldn't touch her. Not with what you've made her into. And I've promised not to hurt her. You, however, are entirely free game." He said with a satisfied and hungry glare.

"If you plan on touching him," I spoke up, full of anger now, "then your promise is broken. You'll have to kill me before I kill you." I threatened him, hoping that it would be enough. "Back off, Jake. Just calm down, turn around, and leave. You know we don't hunt humans and that we won't. So go home."

I walked over to Edward who was standing up now, trying to keep from losing his grip.

"Are you alright?" he whispered to me, his eyes still fixated on Jacob.

"I'm fine." I grabbed him hand trying to lead him back to the car.

"She's fine. I would never hurt her. That's someone else." Jake replied with sarcasm.

Edward growled again, a low growl just loud enough that I heard it and that Jacob didn't. But I heard him laugh as if he possibly knew that he had struck a chord with Edward.

"You're both idiots." I said shaking my head and letting Edward's hand go, admitting to myself that he wasn't going to leave until Jacob had turned to leave first.

They both looked at me, confused.

"Excuse me?" Jacob said.

"What was that, love?" Edward said, as though he hadn't quite understood what I had said.

"I said you're both idiots." I said loudly but slowly as if they didn't speak my language. "You've both hurt me. Numerous times so this isn't a contest as to who can keep me intact. Jake, this is you trying to prove that you're best for me. But you're not. And I'm sorry about that. We're friends or nothing and obviously you've chosen nothing. That's your fault. Edward, I chose you because I love you no matter what. This is you trying to prove that you're the best man for me, which is already proven. Now it's just one big pissing contest between the both of you and all it's proving is that you're both idiots."

They both looked at me astonished, as though I had broken some unwritten rule.

"What?" I said.

"Glad to see you've learned how to speak up for yourself at least." Jake said as he chuckled.

"Goodbye, Jake." I said waiting for him to leave.

"I'll see you around, Bells." He said, before leaving.

Edward grabbed my hand and lead the way to the car, obviously still angry and seeming as though his anger was not only at Jacob, but some of it was being aimed at me as well.


	14. Anger

Chapter 14:

**Chapter 14: Anger**

We drove a good portion of the way home without a word. Every time I had attempted to say something, Edward would clench his teeth together, purse his lips and noticeably turn the volume on the stereo up. Eventually, I gave up on talking to him until we got home.

When we pulled up to the house, Alice's car was in the driveway and Alice was running from the car into the house, presumably putting her things upstairs in her room. As soon as we were parked, I unbuckled, and opened the door as quickly as possible, slamming the door on my way out. Edward finally turned the car off when I was walking in the front door.

"Alice!" I called, trying to get her to stop for a moment.

She stopped and looked at me, confused by the irritated look on my face.

Edward walked in the front door then, his eyes down at the floor. I looked over at him. He had his hands in the pockets of his jacket and I could see that they were balled into fists. Alice's gaze wandered from my face to his, then back to me. I rolled my eyes and shrugged.

"I have no idea." I told her as I turned around and walked upstairs and into my room. I locked the door behind me, hoping nobody would come in. I sat on the bed, my feet dangling off the edge of the too tall bed, my elbows resting on my knees, holding my head in my hands.

Jacob was here. Of all places, here. Edward and I had been doing so well trying to patch everything up. But then again, like I was so often reminding of, I was a danger magnet. So of course, there was nowhere else for him to be. But why now? We came here to escape anything and anyone who was even remotely associated with Forks. And Jacob had been gone for so long, I hadn't been the slightest bit prepared to see him. But instead of being happy to see him, relieved that my best friend was alive, I found myself being mad at him. I couldn't escape the anger that I felt.

He had been the one who had tried to make me choose between him and Edward. And when I did choose he had run away from me, incapable of being friends with me any longer. I had expected that but now that he was suddenly back, I wanted nothing to do with him. And the reason was evident in the silence. Edward and I hadn't spoken since we were in the woods with Jake.

My thought process was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"What?" I said, as coldly as possible, knowing that the only person who would be trying to come in would be Edward.

"Can I come in?" He said from behind the door. His voice sounded meek, but I could still hear the anger behind it. He was never good at hiding his emotions from me.

I got up and unlocked the door before running over to my computer desk. He walked into the room and went over to the stereo. I heard my lullaby come on and I couldn't hide the smile.

Edward came up to me and grabbed my hand, gently. I stood up, following his lead and he pulled me close to him, swaying back and forth, dancing with me. I snuggled into the crook of his neck and curled my hand up on his chest, allowing him to dance me around the room.

As the song ended, I breathed him in and kissed his neck before separating from him.

"You still mad?" I asked him.

"I was never mad, Bella."

"Then what were you? You wouldn't even let me talk to you." I said, sadness in my voice.

"I was frustrated." He answered, his brow furrowed.

"Okay, are you going to tell me why or am I going to have to guess?" I asked sarcastically, hoping to maybe to a smile out of him. It worked. He gave me the crooked smile that I loved so much and pressed his lips to my forehead.

"Bella," he almost whispered. "Jacob Black is here. And I hate that. Him being here presents a rather large problem for me. I have a lot to make up for when it comes to us and him showing up like this doesn't make it any easier. Seeing you two together…I can't explain what emotions it put me through. But while my first instinct was to protect you, I also wanted to attack him. And the only reason I didn't was to save you that heartbreak."

"Edward, Jacob being here doesn't change anything. You and I will always be you and I. Forever. As far as you making up for things…I thought we were starting over, clean slate and everything." I told him, still holding onto his hand.

"I know. It's just-"

"No. It's just, nothing. We're together. I'm not with him. I'm with you. I chose you. You are going to have to accept that one day. So just accept it. Today. Now. You have nothing to be jealous of."

"I never said I was jealous." Edward replied, defensively.

I smiled at him. "No, of course not." I smiled at him.

He placed his hand on my cheek and caressed it softly, trailing his fingers down my neck and to my collarbone. I looked down for a minute and he pulled my chin up to face him as he leaned down to kiss me.

"I love you." I told him, as I leaned in for another kiss.

"I love you, too."

We went downstairs then and helped the others unpack their cars as well as the moving truck. It didn't take too long, considering that we were all moving at full speed trying to get everything done as quickly as possible. Rosalie and Emmett had their room unpacked and organized first, followed by Carlisle and Esme. Alice and Jasper took the longest, mostly because Alice kept picking things up and trying to get Jasper to agree to throwing it out and buying something new to replace it.

Edward and I had gotten the kitchen done, the pantry halfway stocked and were at work on the living room. We had finished setting up the piano and were trying to figure out where we wanted the couches and loveseats to sit. Edward started laughing.

I looked at him, confused.

"Um. Want to let me in on the joke?" I asked him.

"Rosalie and Emmett are arguing."

"And that's funny because?"

"They're arguing over us."

"Oh." I said, a little more than dejected.

"Rose's just complaining. She doesn't like Alaska as much as the rest of us do. And she's not very happy that they don't have the biggest room."

I looked at him, hoping that he'd tell me that he was joking.

"They can have the big room if they want it."

Edward just laughed at me.

"Not exactly the point, love. Emmett's trying to get her to understand that she isn't the most important person in the house. It's not going very well. If you could hear her thoughts." He said, laughing again.

"So Rose isn't exactly loving me right now, I'm guessing. Us having the big room and all?" I asked him, pouting now.

He put down the couch that he had been moving and walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Love, don't pout. It'll be alright. Rose likes you, she just loves herself more."

"Okay." I said as he kissed the tip of my nose. "I'm going to go for a run though. I haven't done that for a while."

He looked at me as if he wasn't sure what to say.

"You don't want me to go with you?"

"No, no. I just want to be alone for awhile. I'll be back before you can even miss me." I promised him, a fake smile plastered across my face. A smile I knew he'd see right through.

"Alright. Well, at least take a cell phone with you, just in case."

I laughed at him. "I have vampire strength and you're still trying to protect me."

He just smiled at me. "Please?" He could still dazzle me with little to now effort.

"Fine. I'll take it with me." I said, as I turned to leave.

But I knew I wasn't just going to a run. I was going to go find Jacob and settle things with him. Once and for all.


	15. Finality

Chapter 15:

**Chapter 15: Finality**

I couldn't seem to run fast enough. I had his scent, I knew that I was following him pretty close on his heals. But for some reason, he was always just a few steps ahead, just out of my line of sight. That wouldn't stop me though. I needed to finish this.

I stopped to smell the air, checking that I was still on his trail, when I saw him jump down from a pretty high tree limb and glare at me.

"Jacob Black!" I called for him, screaming.

He smiled then and walked towards me.

"Somehow I knew you'd be back." He said, almost condescendingly.

"Yeah, well I only came back to-"

"Let me guess. Either you two had some fight and you immediately decided to run to me; your trusty backup guy. Or, he left you, yet again. And you had nobody else to turn to. Which one is it this time? Which role am I playing?" He said; a cocky tone in his voice.

"Well right now, you're back to being a bratty teenage wolf with no other job than to make my existence a living hell." I snapped at him. "Jake, why are you here? It's not just a coincidence so don't try to tell me that it is."

He looked at me as if he wasn't quite sure what to say. I waited for his response growing more and more impatient with each passing second. Edward had always told me that time was meaningless as a vampire. He knew he'd live eternally so minutes, hours, days, none of them mattered. I hadn't quite reached that level yet. Each silent moment seemed to drag on for hours and I wasn't content to just let them pass idly by.

"I'm waiting." I growled at him.

"I followed you." He responded, finally, sounding as if I should've already known this. I just stared at him, my eyes pleading for more information.

"I went back after a few months. Sam told me that you were gone, so to speak, and I knew that at some point he'd be back. When I saw that he was, I started following you two around. I tried to get to you. I wanted to. My instincts told me that I needed to-" he didn't finish, so I did it for him.

"To kill me. You needed to kill me. Am I right?"

"Yeah." He said, a weakness in his voice that I'd never heard there before.

We stood there in silence. My arms were crossed now trying to process this new tidbit of information. He had followed us, completely intent on killing us. Killing me, and then he hadn't. I had given him every opportunity to do so and he had backed down. And I didn't understand why. Before, he had told me that even now, he could never hurt me. And I understood that because even in my present state I couldn't hurt him. But at the same time, I wanted nothing to do with him. He was no longer Jacob Black, my best friend. He was Jacob Black, the werewolf that was my enemy.

"But I couldn't do it. I never could." He said, breaking the silence. "No matter how much the fact that you decided to become one of them disgusts me, I couldn't kill you because of it even if every bone in my body tells me that I should."

"Then why'd you follow us, Jake? If you're not going to kill us, then just leave. I don't want you here, Edward obviously doesn't want you here, and you don't want to be anywhere near me. So just leave. Go back to Forks, and get on with your life the way that I have."

"I will. If that's what you want. But only if you're sure of that. You're still my best friend and I still love you, Bells. That bloodsucker back there might have your heart, but he's torn holes in it in the past that I've sewn up, remember? I know you. Not him. Me. But if you tell me to leave, I will. Just tell me what you want."

"I want you to leave! I want you to turn around, go home, stay out our life and just leave us alone!" I screamed at him.

He looked as if his heart was breaking, but he was shaking again, and I could tell he was just barely controlling himself now.

"What? What's stopping you now? Why are you upset? What did you expect me to say?"

"You said our life. You said us. I didn't expect that."

"Calm down, Jacob." I said, my voice lower now but just as angry. "You're getting upset over nothing. Just…go. It's best for both of us and we both know that. We're not made for each other. Edward and I? We are. And that's not ever going to change no matter how much it hurts you."

"Even if it means that you can't be with your family? Or have one of your own? Even if it means giving up your friends? Giving me up?"

I looked him in the eyes, my eyes focused and with as much seriousness as I could muster. "Yes." I paused. "You wanted me to choose once. Now I have. Just because you don't like the choice, doesn't mean I'm going to change my answer."

He simply nodded his head and brought his eyes up to meet mine.

"Goodbye, Bella." He said, with finality in his tone. And I realized that this time, even if he wasn't happy about it, at least he meant it. I smiled at him.

"Goodbye, Jake." He turned and started running away again. Hopefully in the direction of Forks and hopefully out of my life forever.

I walked back home at a human pace, wanting to breathe in the air around me and feel normal again. I caught a whiff of a familiar scent when I was only about a quarter of the way back home and I laughed to myself as I recognized it.

"Hi, Edward." I said out loud, knowing full well that he had been keeping an eye on me the entire time I had been gone. "I know you're here, you might as well walk me home properly."

With that, Edward walked out of the brush on the side of the trail I had been following back to the house. He had been following a bit behind me; trying to be inconspicuous, but as soon as I had called him out, he ran up to me, intertwining his fingers with mine as soon as he caught up.

"Hi." He said, a smile that reached his eyes displayed on his lovely face.

"You're in a good mood." I said with a suspicious tone in my voice.

He just kept walking, pulling me closer to him and wrapping his arm around my waist and kissing the top of my head. "You said 'us.'" He breathed into my hair, low enough that I could just barely hear him.

I stopped walking and turned my face to his.

"You said 'us.' You said 'our life.' It was just really nice to hear. Reassuring." He said.

I closed the small gap between us, placing my hand on his cheek and looking into his eyes. "It will _always_ be _our_ life. And it is us. Always."

He leaned down and kissed my forehead before we continued walking home.

Alice spent the night going through my closet trying to decide what I would be wearing tomorrow morning to my first day of classes. I didn't particularly care what I wore but apparently my first impression here would determine everything.

By the time she was done it was almost four in the morning. I had been spending my time at my computer going through the syllabi for all three of the classes I had that day trying to make sure that I'd be ready for anything and everything. My first class, Renaissance Literature didn't seem like it would be too bad seeing as I had already read half the books that were on the list and loved them thoroughly. Books like Paradise Lost, Samson and Delilah and Dante's Inferno.

The second class was the one I was worried about. My creative writing class. How was I going to survive that one? I wasn't a writer. Words weren't something that I was good at, let alone creative ones. But the syllabus didn't look like it would be too bad. There was a lot of writing, but mostly things that I could easily write during my sleepless nights.

My last class of the day would be fairly easy. Or at least I hoped it would. I was taking Physical Education 101. I didn't think it would be that far of a stretch now, seeing as my vampire tendencies did make me stronger, faster and much more agile. Maybe now I could get through one hour without smacking myself in the head with a badminton racket.

"Okay, I'm done. Here it is, wa la. What do you think?" Alice said as she laid my outfit out on the bed. She spread her arms out, showcasing it as if she were one of those models on Price is Right, trying to make the ensemble look that much better by her mere presence. It was simple, yet it was something I of course would never have picked out on my own. A green long-sleeved tunic that drooped at the collar, no doubt in an attempt to showcase my limited amount of cleavage, a pair of tight fitting yet stretchy light blue jeans that hugged all the right curves and let little to the imagination, with an orange and brown hippie-esque belt that made me wonder if maybe Alice was devolving back to the 1960's.

I stared at it for a second. "It'll work." I said.

"You hate it. I'll start over." She said, grabbing the clothes and throwing them in the closet.

"No, Alice! I don't hate it! They're just clothes. If they cover my body, I'm happy!"

The argument went on like that for another hour and a half until finally she'd settled on a black long sleeved, scoop neck blouse that still revealed too much of my chest, some dark blue jeans that weren't nearly as tight fitting, and some mid-calf high boots that were apparently the latest thing.

"I love it!" I said, overstating my emotions in an attempt to squelch any further arguments. By the look on Alice's pixie like face, I knew I'd finally won.

It was almost six in the morning now and I still had two hours until I had to be at class. I got dressed and headed downstairs. Edward was already waiting for me. Apparently we were leaving early.

"Ready, love?" he said before even looking up at me.

"Yeah, I guess so. But we'll be early. Where are we going?"  
He looked up at me then, his eyes opened wide.

"You look amazing." He said.

"Thanks." I replied, smiling now. "Alice did it. Now what are we going to do?"

He just smiled at me as he grabbed me by the waist and lifted me down to ground level from the second stair, kissing me.

"It's a surprise."


	16. Presentation

Author's Note: Sorry guys, I've had some very bad writer's block and I haven't really been able to sit down long enough to relax and figure out what I wanted to write

**Author's Note: Sorry guys, I've had some very bad writer's block and I haven't really been able to sit down long enough to relax and figure out what I wanted to write. That, and it doesn't really help when you're not entirely sure that anybody likes your stories. Let me know what you guys think so I can know whether I should stop writing this particular story. Without further adieu:**

**Chapter 16: Presentation**

We were in his car driving to yet another unknown destination. I hated this process, but Edward insisted. The delight he constantly got out of surprising me was something that I couldn't deny him. I looked over at him. His smile seemed constant; it hadn't faded since we had left the house. His eyes seemed to glow even more so than normal, the topaz in his eyes seeming to radiate through his skin. I smiled to myself.

"What?" he asked me, curiosity and concern in his tone.

I just stared back at him, meeting his gaze and trying to figure out what was going on in his mind. I shook my head.

"Tell me what you're thinking. You know it drives me mad not knowing."

I laughed at him. I knew it would get to him sooner or later.

"I was just trying to figure out what you were thinking. Not all of us are blessed with the gift of mind reading you know." I told him, using my best seductive smile.

He just laughed at me and kept on driving.

"So what's this surprise you're taking me to?" I asked him, sighing. I hated surprises and he knew it. Especially from him. He was always trying to spend more money on me than he needed to. And I never wanted him to spend a penny on me.

"We'll be there soon enough."

I glared at him in silence for the next few minutes, my arms crossed over my chest, and my eyebrows pursed together; futilely attempting to figure out his puzzle before he gave me the answer. He never looked back over at me, he kept his eyes on the road the entire time, focusing on driving and nothing else.

Unexpectedly, he stopped the car, put it in park and turned it off. I was out of the car and closing my door before he could do it for me. He wasn't used to my speed just yet and he was trying (without success) to cater to me as he had done before, when I was human.

When I finally looked around at my surroundings, I was very confused. We were parked in front of a silver gate. A locked silver gate. Beyond the gate were hundreds of cars surrounding a large, yet not overwhelming brick building. All of the cars were brand new, all sparkling and shiny. We were at a car dealership.

I stared at him. "Edward, I already have a car. I have for a long time now. Carlisle got me a Hyundai Elantra not too long after I was changed. You've seen it." I said, each word sounding more and more like a question than the one before it.

"Yes, I have."

I hadn't quite put the pieces together yet. My Elantra was working fine. It was fast, shiny, brand new, and completely paid for. I wasn't in love with it but it did its job which was good enough for me. Carlisle had gotten it for me after Edward had left again. I had my truck still but it only kept running for a little while longer before it finally succumbed to its age and gave up. We had taken it to a junk yard and sold it for parts. But surely, Edward knew all that. He'd seen my new car, even approved of it and liked it, probably more than I did. This car was simply a vehicle that got me where I needed to go even though it did it much faster than my old Chevy had; it didn't have the personality that the truck did. It was far too cutesy to ever be truly mine.

"Then why are we here?" I asked him.

He smiled at me, picking me up as he leapt over the unintimidating gate and ran over to the first few rows of cars.

"Pick one." He told me.

"What?"

"Pick one. Any one. Of course, I'll have final say in whether it's suitable for you. But pick one and it's yours. Consider it a congratulations gift."

I stared at him. "Congratulations for what?"

"Starting college."  
"And what makes you think that I'm going to let you buy me a car, Edward?" I asked him, my expression flabbergasted.

"The fact that I already bought one for you, you just have to pick it out for it to be official."

I was confused again and it showed. He was laughing again. No doubt at my expense. But he started walking down the isles, looking for what the acceptable car was for me.

"What about this one?" I asked him, pointing to a Nissan Tundra.

He examined it for a moment. "Nope."

I looked at him waiting for a reason.

"The windows aren't tinted, you couldn't go anywhere during the day."

I accepted this answer. It was fairly logical; and so we kept on walking. Each vehicle that I pointed out was almost immediately rejected for one reason or another; the windows weren't tinted, not good enough gas mileage, too small, too big, not fast enough, too fast, too dangerous, etc.

"Well why don't you just pick one out for me then." I said as I grew more and more impatient with him. We had been at this for almost an hour and I truly just wanted to get to class at this point.

He smiled at me as if he had finally heard the solution that he had been fishing for. Edward grabbed my hand and ran at a human pace to the very back of the lot where all of the used cars were. I hadn't expected this. He stopped in an area of cars that were particularly dilapidated. Ones that even I wouldn't have wanted to drive myself. I stared at him, semi horrorstruck.

"You want me to pick one of these?"

He was still smiling as he pointed just past me to the right, back towards the main building of the car lot where there was one lone vehicle parked near the service bay. I recognized it immediately. It was my truck. The same bulb-like forms over the wheels, the same color, and absolutely perfect.

I looked over at him completely awe struck, my mouth gaping open.

He put his finger below my chin, closing my mouth and gazed deep into my eyes.

"I think that one's perfect."

He pressed his lips gently to mine. For the first time, I was glad I no longer needed to breathe because right now, I couldn't.

"Edward…there are no words. How did you do this?" I asked him, knowing perfectly well that with unlimited funds it was perfectly possible.

"With the proper motivation, anything's possible. And you, Bella, will always be my motivation in everything that I do. I knew this would make you happy. And so it had to be yours. So I had to get it for you. Of course, a few adjustments have been made, simply for practicality's sake. But for all intents and purposes, it's the same. I do hope you like-"

I cut him off with a kiss, this time nowhere near gentle; lustful and full of passion. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself as close to him as possible and he reciprocated. His hands were pulling me towards him, as if our almost full body contact wasn't and never would be enough. I pulled away from the kiss.

"You're welcome." He laughed.

We were back in the Volvo now, driving to class and I was almost bouncing with anticipation. I was not only excited about my new-old truck but I found myself anxious to go into class. Edward and I had every class together. He had set up our schedules so that they'd be the same.

He pulled into a parking spot and he got out of the car. This time, I let him get my door for me. I got out slowly, unbuckling my seatbelt as he held the door. I stood up, facing him, mere inches from his face.

"Thank you." I said

I heard him breathe in deeply, presumably breathing in my scent. He closed his eyes as he did so and I leaned closer into him.

"When we get home from class, I'll thank you properly." I whispered into his ear, nibbling it lightly before I walked away, my books tucked into the crook of my arm.

His eyes popped open as I walked away and he stared after me for a second before running to catch up.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and I smiled instantly.

We walked into the building. Roemer Hall, room 411. Our first class was Renaissance Literature. We were both looking forward to it. Me more so than Edward. He had a slight advantage, having spent a good amount of time with the people who had known the authors of the very books we'd be reading. My only advantage was that I had read each of the books at least twice beforehand.

The classroom was fairly large but reminded me a lot of high school. The desks were the same black tables with chairs beneath them. We took our seats in the middle of the classroom next to each other.

A few other students were already there but none of them looked like they knew the others. They looked around nervously, as if someone was about to jump out and grab them at any moment. I laughed a little to myself.

We had a few minutes left until the class started but the professor came in early and began shuffling through her papers immediately; organizing everything and starting up the computer.

Once she was settled she looked around the room. There were still very few of us there but she seemed satisfied with the attendance level of the classroom and began calling the role.

By the end of the hour, we had gone over the syllabus, talked about everyone's experience with the course material and gone over the introduction to the book. Professor Canale gave us our first assignment. We were to read 40 pages of Samson and Delilah by the next class hour and be ready to discuss it with the rest of the class.

Edward and I walked slowly to the next building; we had Creative Writing with Professor Beard in the Spellman building. He grabbed our literature books from and we ran back to the car, switching them out for the ones that we would need for the next hour.

It went pretty much the same as the first class did. We went over the syllabus, got an introduction to the course and were given an assignment that wasn't too overwhelming but that was slightly challenging. We were to write a short paragraph or poem about something we were passionate about without saying specifically what the thing was. _I can do that_ I thought to myself.

We exited the classroom.

"My love, this is where we part ways." Edward said, mockingly.

I rolled my eyes. "You're going to be in the locker room for all of two minutes before you see me again in the gym. I think we'll live for that long."

He laughed and kissed me before heading into the men's room.

Upon entering the women's locker room, I saw a sign up on the bright orange lockers stating that we weren't changing for class today and to meet in the gym and take a seat on the bleachers. I did as I was instructed.

When I got into the gymnasium, Edward was already there waiting for me.

"Did you survive the whole minute and a half you had to be without me?" I asked him.

"It was touch and go, love. But somehow I managed to keep on breathing." I smiled, grabbing his hand and walking over to sit on the bleachers.

We took our seats amongst the throngs of other students, also known as victims, in the physical education class. Even with my new found vampire strength and indestructibility, I was still very clumsy and I still wasn't very agile or graceful. Hopefully, having Edward here with me might help me out.

An hour later, my fears were only amplified. The instructor had told us everything we'd be doing. Badminton, basketball, soccer, track, gymnastic, and yoga. Just set my body parts on fire now. If that wasn't bad enough, the first half of the semester was going to be spent as a sex education class. The human Bella would have been beat red at the mere mention.

We walked out to the car at the end of the hour and it seemed like the short three hours had lasted all day. I sighed as I got in the car and Edward started the engine.

"So what did you think?" he asked me.

I just sighed in response.

"Let's go pick up your truck, love. And then we'll go home." He said, winking at me.


	17. Orders

Author's Note: Okay folks, I need some reviews

**Author's Note: Okay folks, I need some reviews. I'm whole heartedly considering stopping this story if I don't get some feedback on this chapter. Let me know what you think!**

**Adrirod, you're amazing, you review all the time and constantly motivate me to keep writing, so thank you! Without your reviews, I'd have stopped posting a long time ago! And your writing is great. So everybody should go read them!**

**Chapter 17: Orders**

It was loud. With my now overdeveloped sense of hearing, I was nearly deafened by the sounds that were bombarding me. I struggled to hold my eyes open, knowing that I only had to survive a little further. The noise would have to stop eventually.

_How was this noise ever comforting?_ I asked myself. I had only been driving my truck for a couple of minutes from the dealership to our new home and the once gentle hum was already threatening my very existence. When the driveway came into my view, I pushed the gas harder. Finally realizing that parking the vehicle required braking, I slammed on it, harder than I'd meant to but just hard enough to escape slamming into Alice's yellow Porsche. The truck did a tailspin and I finally got it stabilized, shifting it into park and killing the engine.

Edward pulled in behind me in his nice, shiny, very quiet Volvo. He got out quicker than I'd expected him to and ran to the driver's side window of the truck where I still sat, my hands still clenching the steering wheel, digging into the leather wrapping and grinding my teeth together. My ears were ringing now.

"Bella, love, are you alright?" Edward said, practically screaming at me, his voice panicked.

I winced. His loudness on top of the pain in my ears was not mixing well.

"Ow." Was all I managed to squeeze out. He practically ripped the door off of its hinges in his effort to get to me. He scooped me into his arms, and pried my hands away from the steering wheel, running me into Carlisle's office without letting more than a couple of second's pass.

"What's wrong?" Carlisle asked him as he sat me down on the desk in front of his father.

"I don't know, she was just driving home and then something happened. I was in the car behind her. I don't know what happened." His voice wasn't any more stable now. I tried to find my voice to calm them both down. Carlisle had already begun examining me.

"Guys." I said trying to get their attention. Everything was still muffled. The ringing in my ears was dying down but it was still very, very present.

Edward's eyes snapped to mine immediately. "Are you okay?" he asked me, in a hushed tone, dripping with relief.

I nodded slowly. Carlisle's attention was focused on me now.

"Bella, you have to tell me what happened. What's wrong?"

I couldn't quite form words. The more I talked, the worse the ringing got and the more pain I was in. "Ears." That was all I was able to elaborate on so far.

My eyes had been squeezed shut up until this point in a desperate attempt to block out any further pain. I opened my eyes for a second and glanced at Edward who was smiling now as if he understood what was going on.

Carlisle seemed to be just as confused by his enjoyment as I was.

"Edward? What's going on with her?"

"We picked up her truck today. She was driving it home and I'm guessing she hasn't quite experienced anything quite that thunderous since she was changed. Her hearing hasn't been tested yet. She's not used to it."

I stared at him for a second, not quite understanding how it was funny. I was still in pain. "Ow." I said with enunciation.

Carlisle looked at me with understanding in his eyes. "There's not much I can do. No drugs will work on us, and it will ware off in a bit." He whispered. "Edward will take you upstairs. Just rest. It will go away in a bit."

Edward did as Carlisle asked and brought me up to our bedroom, laying me on our bed. He lay down next to me and I snuggled into his chest. He wrapped his arms around my head, covering my ears, successfully dulling the pain.

Every few minutes, I felt his fingers running through my hair, his lips kissing my head. After about an hour and a half, the ringing had gone and with it, the pain had gone. I let out a satisfied moan and Edward glanced down at me with a worried expression on his face.

"I'm okay now." I said.

"Good." He replied as he kissed my forehead, and chuckled.

"Glad my pain could amuse you." I said, teasing him.

"Oh, love, I wasn't amused by your pain. It's just that I knew what it was and I had been through it. I was laughing at myself mostly, for not knowing what was wrong and for over reacting so much."

"Uh huh."

"Do you want to keep the truck?" he asked me, sadness in his tone.

"Of course I want to keep it. I just need some time to get used to it."

He smiled at me then. I did really want to keep the truck. But if I was going to go through that pain every time I drove it, I wasn't quite sure if it was worth it. Although I knew how much joy it brought Edward to see that I really did enjoy his gift. It wasn't often that I not only accepted something that he'd given me that he'd spent an inordinate amount of money on, but also thoroughly enjoyed it.

"I love the truck. Thank you, Edward. Truly. Thank you." I said, smiling.

He gave me that same crooked smile that I loved so much and pressed his lips to mine, pulling me closer to him with every second that passed. He trailed his lips down to my neck and kissed it tenderly before whispering in my ear.

"Now, I do believe you promised me a proper thanks, love."

I laughed.

The next day was a whole different set of classes. We had Statistics at eleven followed by Criminal Justice at three-thirty. Each class was an hour and a half long today but we still had a break in between the two. But as the campus was conveniently situated near a fully stocked forest, we knew what we'd be doing in that time.

When we got downstairs, however, something was off. The air was heavy with a scent that neither of us was expecting and we couldn't quite place it. We tried to go about our morning, concentrating on making sure our assignments were completed and that we were familiar with where our classes were. By the time we needed to leave we had everything down pat.

I walked out to the Volvo in front of Edward. He was attempting to get a hold of Alice who was currently out shopping with Jasper and Rosalie to redecorate the house. I took a deep breath, trying desperately to identify what the strange smell in the air was. It was oddly familiar but I hadn't smelt it in so long. What was it? And why couldn't I place it? It was so strong. _I know this_ I told myself.

Edward walked out the door then. "No luck." He said, wrapping his arm around me and ushering me into the passenger side of the car. Climbing into the drivers seat, he started the car and began to pull out of the driveway as I rolled my window down.

"What are you doing?" he asked me, inquisitively as I took another deep breath to see if I could yet identify the scent.

"I can't place that smell. I know that I know it. But I can't place it and it's driving me insane."

"It's probably nothing, love. Don't worry about it." He said, almost too quickly.

_That was a little too quick a response._ I thought to myself.

"You know what it is, don't you?" I asked him.

He just smiled at me, but it didn't reach his eyes. I looked at the speedometer. 124. He was nervous. He only ever went this fast when he was trying to escape something and this was something serious. It only added to my concern that he wouldn't tell me what it was. Something told me that he had gotten a hold of Alice. And when nobody was telling me what was going on, only bad news followed.

"Edward, just tell me or I'll find out on my own. I'm not the fragile human that I used to be." I threatened, my eyes serious.

"It's nothing, really. Come on. We can talk about it after classes."

I glared at him, hoping that he'd collapse under pressure but he didn't.

"Fine." I said. "But I'm holding you to it. Class, hunt, class, talk. In that order." I demanded.

"We should probably leave the hunting until later. We can meet up with Alice instead."

"Edward, I haven't hunted since we got here. It would be a bad idea for me to go to very many classes with all of these humans without eating. And you know it. So if you're going to tell me that I should forego hunting for something that's no big deal, you damn well better tell me what it is, because obviously it's something that can't wait."

He growled from somewhere deep in his chest. I had never heard Edward do that in response to something I had said, and it had taken me back a little. I had never been frightened of him until that moment but at the same time, I knew that it was probably something else causing this tension in him. I growled right back, louder than Edward had and it caught his attention.

"I'm the same as you. I'm your family too now, remember? Tell me what's going on."

He was silent for too long and my level of impatience was not up to par with his. I undid my seatbelt and began reaching for the door-handle.

"What do you think you're doing?" he shouted at me.

"If you're not going to tell me what's going on, I'm going to find out for myself. I'm a vampire remember? A fall out of a moving vehicle isn't going to kill me. I can run to Alice, find out what's happening, and be back to class before it starts."

"You're being ridiculous."

"As are you!"

He glared at me for a long moment and I kept my hand poised on the handle.

"It's Jacob."

"What about him? He left."

"Yes, he did. But in order to leave, he phased back. And when he did, Sam found out that you were a vampire. And in that, the pack assumed that I went through with changing you. And because of that, the treaty is now violated. And now, Sam has ordered Jacob along with two of the other mutts to come up here and take care of the entire family. Including you."

I had never before wished that I could disappear. But I did at that moment.


	18. Physicality

Chapter 18: Physicality

**Chapter 18: Physicality**

I couldn't quite process my thoughts, let alone any words at this point. This was impossible. Sam wouldn't have done this; not to me. He knew me. And even if he was angry enough to do something like this, even if I had broken him down enough to the point of hatred, Emily would have convinced him not to have me killed. And in doing so she would've convinced him to leave the Cullen's alone as well. No, this was impossible. Alice was wrong. Someone was wrong. Whatever was going on, whoever saw or heard or thought they knew something was simply mistaken.

I stared at Edward with my mouth hanging open, and my hand was still poised on the door-handle. His eyes were fixated on the road ahead, still driving towards the campus. Apparently he was still determined to go to classes today.

After I composed myself and actually took a breath, I remembered back to something Jacob had told me. Back when we had been best friends. Back before we were the worst of enemies. He had told me of his pack. Of how Sam was the Alpha and that when the Alpha gave an order, the rest of the pack was physically unable to disobey it. I had seen the rule in action the night Jake had snuck into my bedroom at Charlie's house to try to tell me what was going on; to tell me that he was a werewolf. He couldn't even get the words out. This "law" that governed him rendered him incapable of even speaking that night.

So if what Edward was saying was true…no I wouldn't let my thoughts go that far. It was impossible and that was all there was to it.

"No. You're wrong." I said, finally snapping out of my reverie.

Edward seemed stunned by my sudden break of the silence.

He let out a small sigh. "Bella, we're not wrong. You've smelt them all morning, you just couldn't place it. I've heard their thoughts and Alice saw both of our futures disappearing. We're not wrong."

It didn't matter what he said at this point. He was wrong, I was right. I knew these wolves and they knew me. No matter what insignificant treaty line we crossed, law we broke, or unwritten rule we'd broken, they would never kill us.

"Love, we'd do the same to them if the roles were reversed." He said, trying to sound calmer, soothing.

It didn't work.

"Maybe you would, Edward. But I wouldn't. Those wolves out there, they're my friends. And I'm not going to-"

"Bella, they're not your friends anymore!" Edward screamed at me, entirely infuriated now. "They're here to kill you. Not only you, but me and my entire family! And they're not going to simply turn around because you ask them to and explain the situation to them. They're going to fight us. The only part that they're not counting on is that we're going to fight back and that we're going to win."

We had pulled onto campus by now and had parked in a large, nearly vacant parking lot.

I didn't know what to say at that point. I settled for glaring at him. I grabbed my books out of the back seat and got out of the car, leaving Edward to his own devices. I knew we'd see each other in classes anyway but at that particular moment, I didn't care. Seeing him then wasn't exactly what I wanted.

_He's wrong_ I told myself. _It's not them that wants to kill us, he just wants to kill them! It's what he's always wanted! Ridiculous! Jake left. There's no way he'd come back here, least of all to kill me! Edward's just a big…ugh!! _ My thoughts went on that way as I walked up the three flights of stairs in Weldon hall to my Statistics class, brushing past people and bumping in to even more.

I knew Edward was following pretty close behind me, but I didn't care. My focus was set. Classes would run today similar to how they had yesterday. We'd get our syllabi, we'd be introduced to our professors, and we'd leave slightly earlier than was to be normally expected. And during my break, I'd go hunting with or without Edward's consent.

"Bella!" Edward called from the bottom of the third floor. I stood at the top and looked down at him.

"Just wait for me." He said, trying desperately to make his way through the throngs of people coming up the steps. I leaned against the white brick wall and waited for him, grasping my books in front of me, holding them to my chest.

He walked up next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I pushed myself up off of the wall and he slid his arm around my waist.

"Love, you know I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't necessary." He was whispering in my ear. "You know I don't want to do anything that would hurt you. But if we don't fight, I could lose you. And that's something I can't live with. I love you too much for that."

I was trying to calm myself down but it wasn't working. I hadn't often wished that Jasper was the Cullen brother that I was with but now was a time that I did. It would've been much more convenient for me and for the humans around me that were beginning to smell more and more appetizing.

My eyes locked with Edward's. "Fine." I said. "I don't have to like this and I don't have to accept it. If you think it's necessary that you fight, then fine. But I'll be damned if I don't find a way for us all to get out of this without fighting first."

His expression softened and that crooked smile was plastered across his face. His eyes lit up as he looked at me. "I'd expect nothing less." He said as he kissed me gently on the tip of my nose.

We walked into our classroom sitting next to each other. This time, we weren't in tabletop seating. I felt as though I were back in high school each time I entered another class at this campus. Especially in this room. These desks were single chairs with desktops attached to them, barely big enough for one fully grown adult to fit in comfortably. We again sat in the back of the room. The front was set up as expected; the teacher's desk was typical; a dark wooden desk with pencils and a computer set up on it. On the dry erase board behind it was a screen that had rolled down for a overhead projection and of course, no instructor to be spoken of. This was going to be an experience.

The following hour and a half was unremarkable. The statistics teacher, Professor LaClaire, had insisted on keeping us for the entire class period and had even begun our first lesson after finishing going over the syllabus. She had sent us home with not only one but two assignments that would be due the next meeting and we were to have a quiz next week. _Well maybe I'll be savagely attacked by a ravenous pack of werewolves by then_ I thought to myself.

After class, Edward and I walked out of the room hand in hand. We headed for the car and while he was putting both of our books in the backseat, I began running towards the preserve, anxious to begin my hunt.

He caught up to me fairly quickly which I had thoroughly expected. I was faster than him but not by much. At least not enough to make it all the way into the forest without him realizing where I'd gone.

"I told you; no hunting today."

"And I told you, I need to hunt. Edward, I'm getting antsy in there. Human blood has never smelled good to me and it's really starting to sound appetizing. Not an ideal situation when I'm about to be stuck in a room with a bunch of humans for another hour and a half, don't you think?"

He looked around for a few seconds, his jaw hard, almost as if it were set in stone. He was focusing on something. _Trying to hear their thoughts _I told myself. And he probably was.

"Fine." He finally said. "But not for long."

Almost immediately I found several deer grazing in a small clearing not too far away from the main road. I pounced on the largest of them all; a buck. A smaller, frightened looking doe stared at me with the patented deer in headlights look absolutely personified. It must've been the buck's mate. A pang of guilt swam through me. I finished off the buck and laid him gently on the ground as the doe slowly walked up to its lifeless carcass, never taking her eyes off of me.

"Bella?" Edward yelled, looking for me.

"Coming." I whispered. I knew he'd hear me. His hearing was impeccable. But still, I couldn't help but feel worse for this poor deer. Not only had I just killed her mate, but now I was leaving her alive to grieve the loss alone and confused by it. Such a hard blow.

She stared in the direction from which Edward's voice had come, seemingly more shaken up than she had been before, if possible. I pounced on her then, convinced that the only humane thing to do would be to allow her to be with her mate as well. It was only fair. If I were to watch Edward die, I'd beg his murderer for death. And suddenly, I understood his protectiveness.

As I drank the last few drops of the doe's blood, and saw Edward making his way towards me, I realized the feelings behind everything he'd ever done for me, and everything that he was doing now. His only motivation was so that he would never have to live without me; something I would never want to endure myself. And right now, even the slightest possibility of my death terrified him and brought out every barbaric tendency in him. The ironic part was that I was standing in his way, forbidding him from protecting me. Telling him that he couldn't.

I laid the doe's body down next to the buck's and stood up, staring at Edward who was looking at me, panicked.

"We need to run. Now." He said.

"Why, what's going-" before I could finish, a gust of wind threw the scents around the clearing and I caught a whiff of what I had smelled this when we had left the house this morning, only this time, I knew exactly who and what it was.

Edward hadn't been wrong and he hadn't been lying to me. It was most definitely werewolf. Three of them to be exact. I could pick them out distinctly. One was Quil, the other Paul, and the last was most certainly Jacob. And they were on the prowl.


	19. Crossroads

Chapter 20: Crossroads

**Chapter 19: Crossroads**

I'd never seen Edward as panicked as he was at that moment. Throughout our relationship, there had been plenty of times where we had been confronted by situations where one or both of our lives were at risk and he had been particularly concerned. But right now, he had seemed genuinely frightened. His grip on my arm tightened and even with my vampire strength, I felt a pang of pain and sensed the urgency in it as he pulled me away from my meal.

We started running; in what direction I had no idea. The car would be useless at this point. Jacob had proven to me time and time again that he was much faster on his own than any car could ever be, regardless of who drove it. We wound our way through the trees, never using any paths and attempting to stay down wind.

I kept breathing, hoping that soon, their scents would fade but they never did. They seemed to grow stronger but I could never tell if we were running towards them or if they were just catching up to us quicker than we could get away from them. Edward was no longer the only one panicking.

"Edward? Would it be smarter to split up? Divide our scents? Confuse them?" I asked him as we continued our escape.

He shot me a quick glare as his response as if to let me know that that would never happen

"Think about it. They wouldn't expect it. And I'm just as strong as you now. I can take one of them down if I have to. It'd be safer. Us running together like this; we're too potent. They could pick out our scent a mile away."

"No. It's not an option."

"Yes, it is."

"Not one I can live with." He replied with finality.

"Well I guess that's okay then since we're both about to die." I told him, smelling the air. They were right on top of us now, probably only 20 or 30 yards away and far too close for my liking

I darted off to my right, hoping that Edward wouldn't follow me or at least that he wouldn't notice. Pushing myself, I ran faster. I kept going; kept breathing, yet the scent never left. It was as if they were surrounding us. As if they had split up before I had even had the thought to. Like they had expected us to.

_Good old Jacob._

I looked around me while I ran. I didn't see Edward anywhere and I knew he wouldn't call for me. Not now with the pack being so close and hunting for us at the very same time.

There was a place not too far ahead where it looked as though the trees split. If I could just get that far, I thought that there might be a chance that I would be safe. Edward would be fine, I knew that much. He'd fought with the wolves before; knew all their techniques and how they would attack. They couldn't surprise him now. But me. There wasn't much I could do. And then I saw the irony in it.

Technically, I was still a newborn. I would more than likely still fight like one. I'd never had any training besides the wrestling matches that Emmett and I had had in my futile attempts to best him. But I probably still fought in a mediocre way. Once my instincts kicked in, my movements and technique would probably be far too predictable. Edward had taught these very wolves to kill newborn vampires only a few years ago and how to anticipate each and every movement. There'd be no challenge for them in killing me.

I ran faster, holding back my dry sobs. I had to get to the split in the trees. If I could reach that point, I'd be fine. The scents were overwhelming me now. I held my breath, closing my eyes and made one last bolt for the tree line. I'd make it. I had to.

The wind whipped against my cheeks. In my human form it would've easily blown me over. But now, it only forced me to inhale sharply, taking in a deep breath. I could smell him now. As if he were right next to me. My eyes snapped open then and I froze where I was.

Paul was standing not ten feet in front of me, blocking my one path out of the forest. His eyes were fixed on me; arms shaking at his sides, jaw clenched as though it were about to break. He was about to lose control. Even before I was changed, Paul was never good with controlling himself, but now that there was no longer a need to be careful around me, it was worse. I was no longer a fragile human that they needed to regard with care. I was the enemy. I was the reason that they were the way that they were. And by looking in Paul's eyes at this moment, I could tell that he hated me for it.

"Paul." I growled out as I crouched down into a pouncing stance and hovered just above the ground, trying to keep reminding myself not to go for the easy kill.

"Isabella." A mangled gnarl roared from his mouth as he charged at me, exploding into the wolf that was inside.

But he never made it to me. I had braced myself for an attack that hadn't come. A dark-chocolate colored wolf that was slightly smaller than Paul had been had burst out from the brush on my right side and slammed into him before I had gotten the chance to defend myself.

I didn't understand. I tried to make out the features. I knew this wolf. The deep brown fur that was lighter around his face. Could this be Quil? And if it had been, why would he be saving me from Paul?

But I wasn't going to stand around and find out. This saving grace could very well have been just by chance and I wasn't about to look a gift wolf in the mouth. I turned around and started running. I didn't want to be around when the two werewolves figured out what had happened and that I was no longer in the mix.

I hadn't made it more than a few strides when I ran straight into Edward's chest. He stood like a stone wall blocking my path.

"Edward, we have to move!" I told him, demanding.

But when I looked in his eyes, there was a mixture of relief, anguish, and regret, but I wasn't sure why.

I went to grab for his hand, but when I looked down for it, I saw that his arm was being held at a sharp angle behind his back.

"Edward?" I asked, hoping that he'd answer me. But I saw from his pained expression that he couldn't.

Jacob Black then stood up from behind Edward. As he moved he raised his arm up, lifting Edward up by his arm. The odd angle by which he was hanging tugged at my unbeating heart, causing me more pain than it would ever cause him. His eyes gave nothing away; no pain, no resentment. The only emotion I could read on his face was fear. He looked as though he were telling me to run.

"Jake, what the hell are you doing?" I shrieked.

"Oh, hey Bella. Look at the toy I found. I figured I could use it as a chew toy for a while. But I always tend to rip those apart. But that's okay. I always know just what to do when I've torn things to pieces." He said, eyeing me with each word, a grin slapped across his face.

"Jake, why are you doing this? It's me, it's Bella. Your best friend, remember?"

"No. See the thing is. My best friend died. A little over a year ago actually. It was weird really. Never found her body. Figured her fiancé had done it, of course nobody ever said that. But after a while, you know. Everyone knows what happened. You, though. You're just a parasite who looks like her. And parasites, I know just what to do with those." He told me, acid seeming to drip from every word.

"You don't mean that."

His only reply was a smile that only got bigger with each passing moment.

I stared down at my feet, trying to figure out what I needed to do. I couldn't understand how Quil could defend me, how he would defend me against Paul and Jacob couldn't even protect me from himself. I had barely known Quil. Sure we had been friendly, even gotten to know each other to an extent but we were never even marginally as close as Jacob and I. And yet, here was my best friend, perfectly willing to kill me. What had happened to the Jacob Black that had pulled me from the current beneath the cliffs in La Push? The one that had rescued me practically every day while he was teaching me to ride my motorcycle? And the one who was more than my best friend for so long.

None of that mattered anymore. At least not to him. I knew that. To him, I was just a parasite now. I was part of the reason he was a werewolf; an existence which he hated. He was cursed in his mind and if I didn't exist, he wouldn't be this way. When I had been human I had hurt him too much, and now, as a vampire, I was constantly reminding him of that.

I knew what my options were and I knew what I was going to do.

I looked up again, my eyes locked on Jake's.

"Jacob, just let him go. Let him go and you do whatever you want with me. Kill me, torture me, whatever you'd like."

Edward snapped his eyes back to glare at me, all anger in them. All traces of fear gone now, he looked as though he himself were about to explode with his own rage.

"Bella love, no!" he whispered, just loud enough for me to hear him. I ignored his pleas immediately.

Jacob's smile widened as he stared at me. He raised up the arm that was grasping on to Edward's and threw him into a tree in the distance. I heard the tree crack with the force which his body slammed against it. I stifled a whimper, attempting to hide my emotions again. I could become that shell of a person whenever I wanted to again, so long as my reasons were good enough.

He wrapped his arms around me as he used to do when we were the best of friends, hugging me close to him. Only this time, his arms seemed as though they were going to crush every marble bone in my body. He began running as I felt my feet leave the comfort of the forest floor. I closed my eyes, hoping that if I no longer saw the scene playing out in front of me, it would no longer be real.

With a loud crack, I was no longer being cradled in the arms of the boiling hot human that I had known for so many years, but the fur draped paw or the russet colored wolf that used to provide me comfort during some of the most terrifying days of my life.

Those days of solace were gone now, replaced only by horror.

The paw that had been cradling me close to his chest now threw me up and onto his back so that he could continue running. I held on to his fur as tightly as I could, hoping that I wouldn't fall off while he ran.

I could smell the other two wolves running up behind us now. They had finished their fight and were following Jacob closely. This was all starting to feel as though it were too much. In the last five minutes I had willingly given up the love of my existence in exchange for absolute death at the hands of my friend turned bitter enemy.

The only good part about my impending death was the fact that my career as a danger magnet would soon be coming to an abrupt end.


	20. Aggravation

Chapter 20: Crossroads

**Chapter 20: Aggravation**

My face was buried in the fur covering Jacob's neck as I clenched onto his sides with my inhuman grip. I heard Paul and Quil running; one at each side. Their scents were overwhelming me and I wished for nothing more than sleep to escape it.

Edward was safe, I knew that. He had been in pain when we had left just outside of the clearing, but he wasn't injured. I was sure of that. His turmoil was purely emotional and he was simply struggling with the idea of me being hurt. That was how Edward operated.

I tried so hard to focus on him and only him. That way, my thoughts didn't wander to my current predicament. It wasn't working. I already knew what was about to happen to me. The werewolves were about to take turns tearing me to shreds and then they'd take each part of me, each small piece that they'd torn from my being off to First Beach where they'd burn me alive until they were sure that I'd never come back.

If I had had a beating heart in my chest, it would've stopped at that thought. But as it stood, the most I could do was to stop breathing. If nothing else, it aided in me not having to smell the wolves.

Without warning, all three of the wolves stopped running. Jacob reached his paw up to me and grabbed me off of his back; his claws digging into my skin. I winced in pain. So this was what it was going to feel like? And this was only the beginning.

I was still holding onto his fur as he was pulling me off of him and I pulled it with me as he gave me one final tug in his successful attempt to remove me from his back.

I heard Paul growling behind us and Quil howled in reply. I wasn't quite sure what they were saying to one another but it seemed to me that they were arguing with one another.

Jake was staring at me now, his eyes curious yet I could detect some pain behind them. My arms were wrapped around my stomach, where his claws had punctured me. The wounds were already beginning to heal and I wasn't in nearly as much pain but I was still quite aware of it.

But Jacob's eyes were locked on mine still. They never wandered anywhere else.

"Jake, just get this over with. You're here for a reason, kill me and get it over with." I ordered him, a false sense of authority in my voice

A few seconds passed in silence. He looked at the ground and whimpered.

I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth.

"I don't know what you're thinking. I don't read minds like the three of you. Either do it now or turn into a person that can actually talk to me. I don't have enough patience for waiting right now."

Jake's furry face snapped back to look at me and when he did so, where there had been curiosity, there was now anger in his eyes. That same psychotic almost manic anger that had been there before when he had encountered me in the forest while he used Edward as a vampiric shield.

But then he went into the underbrush for a few moments only to come back out as the Jake I knew and loved. Jake the human; the one who had been my best friend for so long. And he was fuming.

"You think I _want_ to kill you, Isabella? You think this is something that I can actually _DO?_ I wish I could just not do it but you know that I can't do that!"

He was shaking so violently now that I didn't even know how he had managed to phase back into a human being.

"Then make them do it!" I shouted back at him, pointing at Paul and Quil. "They're both more than willing. You know that better than anybody!"

"Quil wants no part of this. The only reason he's here is because he's bound to his orders. Just like I am. And you know it."

I looked at him, my eyebrows pursed together and my expression determined as much as I could muster. I could think of a million solutions right now but none that seemed feasible. I could fight them all but that would still result in my death. And even if it didn't and I somehow survived, I'd have to have killed both Jacob and Quil, both of who I considered to be friends of mine and one of which was someone who I did, at one point or another love even if that love fizzled out long ago.

I could hope that Alice had seen my decision in the forest to leave with Jake and forfeit my life for Edward's. Again, another impossibility though as she couldn't see anybody's fate if the werewolves were involved

But there was still one viable option.

"Orders from Sam. Your Alpha, right?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" he said defiantly.

"Just that if you had stepped up when you had the chance, we wouldn't be here. You wouldn't be taking orders from him, he'd be taking them from you! And you wouldn't be standing here having to kill me right now! But you were just too weak. Too scared. Just like you are now."

"You know you're making this a lot easier, minute by minute!" The shaking was worse now and I didn't want to push him that far over the edge. Not yet.

"Fine." I said, determination in my voice.

I turned on my heal and walked straight up to Paul until we were almost nose to nose. He began backing up slowly, snarling at me as he did so.

"No, Bella!" Jake was shouting behind me.

I turned my head to face him.

"What? You won't do it and your orders are that it needs to be done. You won't be allowed to go back home until I'm dead and he's the one that will do it." At that, I turned my gaze back at Paul. "So do it, Paul."

I heard a crack from behind me; the same crack as before when Jacob had turned into a wolf with me in his arms. I knew he had phased; that I had pushed him over his threshold.

Paul's steely eyes were fixed on mine as he continued to bare his teeth. The fur on the back of his neck was raised and I could tell that I only needed to provoke him a little more to get him to spring into action.

His glare flashed behind me to Jacob.

"No, don't look at him. He's only the beta. Remember what Sam said? What he ordered you all to do? I'm your target. I have to die. And you have to kill me. So do it. You know how and here's your shot." He moved closer to me, tensing up even more than he already was.

"I'll fight back if that's what you want. I'm a cold one, remember? A _bloodsucker_. I'm the reason you're a werewolf. It's all _my_ fault. Now just do it, damnit!"

He was set to pounce. A wide grin spread across my face, satisfied with myself that I had successfully provoked the sleeping demon in front of me. Quickly, I lowered myself to the ground, hoping that by the time he did attack, I'd be ready for him. Fighting was my only option now. And hopefully by the time I'd begun, Edward would show up to rescue me again. Even if logic told me otherwise.

Paul sprang at me just as I thought he would. A head on attack going straight for my right shoulder. I bared my teeth at him, letting out a growl that let him know I was just as angry as he was as I slammed my closed fist into his jaw; the second time I punched a werewolf in the face was much more productive than the first.

He flew back a few feet before turning his body in midair so that he'd land on his feet, running to turn around and face me. He came at me straight on, aiming straight for my side. I turned out of the way as he ran by me, snapping my teeth at him as he passed.

"That all you have? Your aim sucks."

He came at me again, this time poised for my angle and ready for the kill. I didn't know quite what to do. But as it would happen, I wouldn't get the opportunity to block his attack. Before I knew it, Jacob Black was running past me, attacking Paul before he was even close to me.

"Why do you guys keep doing that?" I yelled at both him and Quil and I leapt at Paul, attempting to bite at any open flesh I could sink my teeth into. At this point, I knew my only weapon was my venomous teeth. It wouldn't kill them, but it would knock them out for a few hours, and it wouldn't change them either. It was just an instant sedative for them. And it would buy me the time I needed to return to my family.

Jacob kept grabbing at Paul's hind legs, attempting to drag him away from me as he continued to snap at me with his gargantuan teeth. I followed him as I continually punched, kicked, bit, and clawed at Paul.

Quil had turned back into the statuesque, olive skinned boy who I'd known while I lived in Forks and was watching the fight with amazed eyes from a few yards away.

"Guys….guys stop." Was all he was saying. Somehow, the view in front of him seemed foreign to him although I was pretty sure that he'd seen Jacob having to haul Paul off before. And I knew that it wasn't the first time that Paul had reacted such a way on my account.

Suddenly, the two fighting wolves in front of me were both human men who instead of having a fist fight, were having a screaming match.

"You're a jerk, Jacob Black!"

"Just because you're so willing to-"

"Willing to kill it? Of course I'm willing to kill it! It's the reason we exist! And we were given orders. Sam said-"

"Sam shouldn't even be our Alpha and you know it. It should be me. It's my turn to be Alpha, and it's my right. From here on out, you're listening to me. Following _my_ orders. And if you touch Bella, _I _will kill _you_. Is that understood?"

"You can't just be the-"

"Yes. I can. As soon as I decide I want it, it's mine. Sam already knows, I just told him and he has no problem with it whatsoever. So beginning this second, you follow _my _orders." Jacob said, sounding more grown up and more confident than I'd ever heard him before. "You are not to _touch_ Bella. Not her nor the Cullen's. They're still bound by the treaty."

"They violated-"

"Paul, if you don't stop talking, I'm going to _force you_ to shut the hell up." Jake said, finality dripping from each word.

The look on Paul's face let me know that he wasn't happy but that, at least for the time being, the discussion was over.

My mouth was gaping open and my eyes must've been opened even wider. Quil looked over at me and instantly began laughing.

"Bella, you look like a blow up doll!"

I closed my mouth quickly and began trying to organize my thoughts.

"What just happened?" I asked out loud.

Jake walked over to me, smiling now.

"I found a solution that we both could live with. And you're the one who gave it to me, you just didn't know it."

"Okay. That I get. But I don't quite understand why. You hate the Cullen's. And the fact that I'm with one of them drives you insane. Why would you help me?"

He hung his head and let out a sigh.

"Bella, you'll never quite grasp how much I love you, will you?" He looked up at me from behind his long, dark eyelashes, a mixture of happiness and sorrow on his face.

I chuckled. I wasn't quite sure what else to do at this point.

"Bells, you chose him. I can live with that. But at least this way, I know you're alive."

"Thank you. I think."

"Still confused?" he asked me, laughing.

"A little." I admitted. "But I think I'm starting to get it."

"Good. Now go home to your…just go home. Let them know that we won't be around anymore. That they don't have to worry about us coming by and savagely massacring them or you ever again. I'd take you home, but frankly, Bells. You guys stink."

I smiled at him one last time before we said our final goodbye.

"You don't smell so great yourself, you know." I said, jokingly. "I'll let them know though. And Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. For you know, not killing me. It means a lot. And for what it's worth, I do still love you. Part of me-"

"Can we just leave it there, Bells? Saying any more will ruin it."

I nodded in reply and waved as I turned around and began walking home.

After I could no longer smell the three teenage werewolves, I began running. Nothing was going to be in the way now. And there was someone very important that I needed to speak to.


	21. Finale

Chapter 21: Finale

**Chapter 21: Finale**

I ran without a seconds though, my hands clenched into fists. I wasn't completely sure that Edward would be at home. Jake had left him in the forest and whether he had stayed there would be an issue. In a normal situation, I knew he would come running after me in some brave rescue attempt. He'd try to save me and he'd go to any length to make sure that he'd accomplish what he set out to do even if it meant sacrificing himself to do so. But this wasn't any normal situation.

But I had to hope. _He's at home, he's there. He's at home with the family_. I kept repeating it to myself. Somehow, the more I said it, the more likely it was to be true. Because the only other reason for him taking so long to show up was that he was actually hurt. Or worse. Neither of those options were things I could live with.

I could smell the Cullen's now. The house was in view and I knew that I was close. Less than a minute away. I held my breath. I didn't want to pick out their individual scents yet. If he was there, I wanted the sight of him to take my breath away like it had when I was human. I wanted to feel that rush of happiness and joy that came with his presence. And if he wasn't there, I didn't want to know yet. It would break my heart and I didn't want to feel that yet. I could deal with that pay when I was with my family but not now, when I was alone running through the thick forest.

The house was in view now. Only a few feet away. I leapt up the steps as if they were merely pebbles in my way and slammed the front door open.

"Edward?" I screamed as I came to an abrupt halt in the foyer.

I didn't get an audible answer but I saw Alice peak her head around the corner from the kitchen and look straight at me. Our eyes locked and was begging her with my wordless expression to tell me that he was there; that he was safe and that everything would be fine. I didn't notice the rest of the Cullen's coming in to greet me. Emmett was standing next to me, his burly arm around my shoulders, bragging about how his little sister took down an entire pack on her own.

Jasper was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed, sending out waves of calm at me that, while they were working to a degree, weren't able to keep me calm enough to stop searching the room for Edward. I saw Carlisle and Esme coming down the stairs.

"Carlisle." I whispered.

He looked up at me, surprised.

"Carlisle, where's Edward?" I asked him.

"I don't-"

"I'm right here, love." Edward said, as he ran up to me, wrapping me up in his arms. He had just come in the back door when I had looked up at Carlisle but in all of the distraction, I hadn't heard him.

I clung my arms around Edward's neck, holding on to him as if he were about to be ripped away from me again.

"I was so worried I'd never see you again." I said, closing my eyes. My breath caught in my throat as I spoke.

"Me too, Bella. Me too. But we're alright. We're together. I don't know how you made it through, but you did." He removed his arms from my waist, placing his hands instead on either side of my face and pulling me closer to him.

I pressed my lips to his, and allowed myself to pour all of my passion, fear and love that I'd been holding in for him into the kiss. I couldn't get close enough to him. He couldn't hold me close enough nor kiss me long enough and I couldn't get enough of him. I'd never be able to.

Against all of my instincts, I pulled away from the kiss and opened my eyes. Edward's face looked so confused until I gave him a smile.

We broke apart and turned our attention back to his family who were still surrounding us, yet respectfully if not slightly disgustedly averting their eyes. I let my hand linger in his and he laced his fingers through mine.

I glanced over at Carlisle who still looked slightly lost.

"Carlisle?" I said.

He looked over at me, eyebrows raised in response.

"I found him." I told him, sarcastically.

"So I see." He replied.

"How are you dear? Are you both alright? Do you need anything?" Esme was asking Edward, her maternal instinct, as usual, in full swing.

He smiled at her. "No, Mom. We're fine. Promise."

"But those wolves aren't! Bells over there destroyed them. I knew she would. My little sis is a badass!" Emmett was bragging again.

"No, they're fine too." I told him.

The entire family looked over at me, each of them with the same confused look on their faces, except for Alice who just looked irate.

"I think we should all go sit down and figure out what happened. Bella, care to fill is in on the details?" Carlisle suggested as he lead us all into the living room.

"Sure."

I told them all the entire story. About Jacob attacking Edward, me giving myself up in exchange for Edward's freedom, Jake's change of heart, Paul's attack, and the change in Jake's status that now meant that we had no reason to fear the wolves any more.

They all stared in semi amazement as I finished my story. Only Alice seemed to be relieved.

"Well good," she said. "At least I shouldn't have to worry about anybody's future disappearing any time soon. That was definitely getting really annoying."

I smiled at her. Alice was my best friend and I couldn't imagine life without her.

Jasper stood up and reached for Alice's hand. "Alice, let's go out. Anywhere you want."

"Can we go shopping?" she asked, her pixie-like features only added humor to her excitement.

Jasper laughed at her then. "Of course. Anything you want to do. I want to show off my wife." He said as he pulled her up off of the couch they had been sitting on. They walked out of the room, Jasper's arm slung over Alice's shoulder, pulling her into him as he kissed the top of her head as she went on and on about the new clothes she wanted to buy and the new dishes that had just been released that she wanted to look at.

Emmett and Rosalie wordlessly stood up and walked out of the room, hand in hand, walking up the stairs towards their bedroom. Emmett had seemed slightly disappointed that I hadn't actually taken on an entire pack of wolves and instead had actually only come to blows with one young werewolf. That would have to do for now. I figured he would be satisfied knowing that I could hold my own with that.

I felt so at home now. This was my family and I knew that. Carlisle and Esme, although not biologically, were for all intents and purposes, my parents. Emmett and Jasper would always be my brothers, and Alice, although my best friend, would be my sister until I no longer existed. Rosalie…well we were getting to that point. Right now, our relationship consisted mostly of sibling rivalry I suppose.

But Edward. Edward I was sure of. There was no tension there. I was in love with him and that was never going to go away, never going to fade. I chuckled aloud.

"What's so funny, love?" Edward asked me, letting go of my hand and instead putting it on my thigh.

I looked him in the eye.

"Let's go our room." I said to him.

His grin widened and he swooped me up in his arms, carrying me the way he used to before I was changed; bridal style as if I was too fragile to walk on my own.

He ran up the stairs and laid me down on the bed, lying on top of me.

"If I knew you wanted us to be alone I would've made them skip the story telling bit of the evening." He said as he pressed his lips to the skin in the crook of my neck. I closed my eyes, basking in his presence.

"That's not why I asked you to bring me up here, you know. I did actually want to talk to you."

He instantly pushed himself off of me, backing away from me and sitting on the other side of the bed with a worried expression on his face. I stared into his eyes. I could get lost in that endless sea of topaz if I would let myself. But I knew what I had to do. What I wanted to do. There was no turning back now.

I looked down at my right ring finger and studied the ring that was there. His mother's ring. I began twirling it around my finger with my left hand before finally taking it off entirely. I studied it for a moment before looking back into Edward's eyes and handing it to him.

His eyes were suddenly jet black; his expression no longer worried or scared but now angry, almost livid.

"What are you saying, Bella? Are you leaving me?" He asked, an attempt at stoicism in his voice was betrayed by the hurt that I could feel in every word.

"No, Edward, of course not!" I nearly shouted at him.

"Then what?" His face held only confusion now.

I don't want it on my right hand anymore. I'm saying that I want to wear it somewhere else. That I want you to put it where it belongs. And you know where that is." I looked up at him, hoping that that would be enough for him to connect the dots and realize what I was telling him.

After a few moments, he realized what it was that I was telling him, and the smile that I was so familiar with returned to his face. He wrapped his hand around the ring and pushed himself off of the bed, turning me as he did so, so that my feet were dangling off of the edge and I was in a sitting position. He turned to face me as he slowly, for him at least, got down on one knee.

"Bella, my love," he whispered, "I love you, mind, body and soul. I always have and I always will. You are my entire existence. Without you, I am nothing. Will you marry me?"

And this time, I didn't have to think about anything. My answer was for nobody else. There was no coercion and I wasn't giving an answer for an ulterior motive. I answered from the depths of my heart.

"Edward, of course I'll marry you. I'd have it no other way." I told him with a grin just as wide as his across my face.

He slid the ring onto my finger as he stood up to kiss me again, forcing me back to lie down on the bed again.

It was that same passionate kiss with the same fervor and love that we had experienced when he had walked in the back door. Only this time, I didn't pull away from him. And I never would have to again.

**Author's Note: Okay that's it!! At least for now. I might write a sequel after I'm done reading Breaking Dawn. We'll see. But I'm sure you're all reading the book tonight too. Thanks for reading guys!! I enjoyed writing it and I can't wait to get started on another one.**


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